Anachronistic feminism in feminist retellings

I'm currently about 20% into Kaikeyi by Vaishnavi Patel and the anachronistic feminism is starting to annoy me. Her throwing a petulant tantrum over the fact that she has no say in who she marries seems really out of norm for a princess in her time. She can think it's unfortunate, but I would think that every member of a royal family just accepts it as their duty. The blurb says that she becomes "a warrior, diplomat, and most favored queen" and I get the feeling that Patel is going to have her Disney Princess girl boss her way through patriarchy (please let me know if I am wrong).

I enjoy strong female MCs and feminist retellings, but the "anything boys can can do, girls can do better" kind of feminism in a historical context just feels… very YA. I think a more nuanced feminist retelling is Circe (Miller) and The Witch's Heart (Gornichec), where they deal with patriarchy by choosing not to engage with the patriarchy, until they are forced to, and their ultimate goal is to be left alone to do as they please. Another great example is Spinning Silver (Novik) where both FMC takes a crappy situation and use their skills and intelligence to turn it around for them, for survival and political gain, not to prove something.

Maybe I am an old, jaded woman, but I'm just annoyed with Kaikeyi because I feel like I'm being pandered to and it's just as annoying when a woman does it, as when a man does it. But, I am only 20% of the way in. There's a very real chance that Kaikeyi goes through some character arc. My understanding is that Kaikeyi is also a villain retelling of a story I am not familiar with, and maybe in the context of her original story, her feminism isn't anachronistic?

Please share your thoughts on feminist retellings. Do you have a favorite? Are they unnecessary? Does it help you better contextualize the original stories? Did I unfairly judget Kaikeyi too early into the book?