For context, I am a father to a perfect 4 year old son. I tried very hard to be a good father for his first two years, and I think I did a good job during that time. But I imploded when I lost my job (as sole provider,) things became strained with his mother which led to her cheating, and I relapsed into drinking and drugs. I am now in a homeless shelter, attending rehab, and proudly approaching 4 months sober. But despite that progress, I cannot find a job, which I need in order to get my car repaired (which was destroyed by my uncle in his own drunken rage, but police refused to acknowledge his fault because he's a rich asshole who has the whole town in his pocket) and I rarely get to see my son. I sometimes find myself avoiding thinking about him because I'm terrified that I've ruined our relationship and the negative feelings that come with that are too much to bare. I guess I'm just looking for something that will give me hope. But it can also be brutal about the shitty behavior from the father. I think that might act as a form of exposure therapy, which might be helpful.
Sorry for the infodump, I just thought more context might help with more specific suggestions. Does anything come to mind?
Thank you!
by HiDiddleDeDeeGodDamn