I’m writing a character that romanticizes her self-destructive behaviour, and would really really like to read one that can capture the desperation, the destruction, the chaos, and the dopamine rush as the character dives into an abyss. Like when you eat something forbidden but can’t stop until your guts explode and deteriorate from the disgusting texture of the cake, or when you dig your teeth, making it sink onto the rough surface of bruised skin because that’s the only way you can let out your anguish other than breaking the trinkets
to make it clearer, it’s like Mitski’s “Shame”. You can feel the guilt of her own pleasure, and how she knew it wouldn’t end well after she did it.
I don’t really mind the gender of the characters, but I STRONGLY prefer for it to be women, please!
I just think they’re neater to read for some reason. Maybe I’m biased.
TLDR: I want to read a book that can portray unhealthy coping mechanisms and the guilty spike of dopamine that comes with it.
by criztelinz