I want to learn how to ask more meaningful questions and gain emotional intelligence.

Well… I don’t really know of many books that would do this for you… Except maybe to suggest looking up books on Trivia and winning at Jeopardy perhaps?!

That kind of pursuit, if you really enjoy learning new facts/knowledge, might just be what you’re looking for maybe?

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But otherwise…

It could just be the conversations with particular people, that you are having?

For example, if you’re talking with someone younger, about latest pop culture references, and perhaps some music references, or celebrity gossip, then ya…

You might have no friggin clue what they’re talking about and raving about!?

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Or… if you find yourself in the midst of a Quantum Physics Convention, then most certainly, you’ll find yourself just smiling and nodding and pretending to understand what people are talking about!

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So ya, the central core question here is…

What type of group of people do you find yourself having absolutely zero clue of how to engage in the discussion?

Is it again, a generational thing, people talking about pop-culture outside your generation?

Is that you’re hanging out with a bunch of PhD level scientists in a particular field (like AstroBiology!) that you’ve never studied??!

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FINAL NOTE:

Whatever group of people that it is, that is causing you to stall the conversation…

One remedy is to just admit it! Confess!

Say, “Wow! I actually know nothing about XYZ… But the way you talk about XYZ sounds super interesting. So… ok… what’s something a total newbie like me, should know about XYZ?”

And then you’ll just naturally see how the other person will smile, and think to themself, “Allright! someone’s actually interested in my own weird interests! Let me fill this person in! This will be a fun conversation!”

And then just let them do the talking and teaching, and they’ll love it!

Usually… But not always.