My ex-girlfriend dumped me two months ago, saying that I was not good enough for her despite my best efforts. She also lied to me for two months before acting on the breakup. She was having a good time in the clubs, hanging out with a bunch of guys, and I never expected her to be capable of doing such things because we had been together for 5 years and I truly trusted her. And she admitted to it while breaking up with me after I left my hometown to study abroad. Right after when our LDR started.
So why am I telling this story above? I do not want to forgive her right now, and I do not want any romance genre book recommendations or anything that will make matters worse. It was extremely painful, and I had already had 15+ counseling sessions, but I really wanted to take action myself, so I started going to the gym and reading, but I could not find anything suitable for my current situation.
I just want to read something that will make me feel better because a friend told me that reading books helped him get over a breakup. It was mostly Stoicism-related books, but I wanted to ask Redditors about their experiences so I could figure out where to start.
Stoicism philosophy books are also acceptable, so if you have any recommendations, please let me know.
Thank you, and I hope you are not going to judge me. I’m really trying my best. I really wanted you to understand the situation so you could make appropriate recommendations.
Non-fiction preferred!
by Rengoku223
3 Comments
Dear Reddit friend, I’m so sorry to hear of your pain. I have been through a breakup with similar circumstances (5 years, he knew his feelings had changed months before breaking up with me, etc). I commend you on your finding help for yourself, getting counseling, physical exercise and reading. I wish I could say I reacted as well, but I was rather a potato for months before trying to help myself properly.
When I did begin to make positive change, my book choices were different from your friend. I imagine as individuals, what helps one person may not help another. I read books by Brene Brown, who has spent years studying vulnerability in people. Conversely to what many people believe, her research indicates people who feel deeply are stronger than those who don’t. That vulnerability is strength. It helped me feel that though I was hurting, I was strong. Her books aren’t chicklit or break up focused, but were good for me.
The other books I read were escape books. I chose some of my favorite fiction genre (in my case, fantasy and historical mystery fiction), read some reviews to avoid ones with strong romantic themes and spent my evenings sipping tea and enjoying the book smell. A favorite fantasy book I discovered at that time was The Legend of Nightfall by Mickey Zucher Reichert. Time and a pile of books helped. Best wishes, friend.
Notes on Heartbreak by Annie Lord is excellent
The power of discipline by Daniel Walter.
It’s a self help book.
I’m getting back onto reading 📚 more myself.
Don’t sweat the break-up. It’ll only make you stronger. Don’t go back to her, itll make you look weak and needy. Workout, workout, workout, eat right and read anything and everything. Better yourself by surrounding yourself with others you strive to be like.
You feel down now, but physical activity is scientifically proven to reduce stress and put you into a better mood.
Keep your head up brother. It’s a cold cruel cruel world out there.