I’ve reada few threads here on the topic that help it make sense but I have more questions, regarding popular modern fiction in particular.
Generally, do readers really enjoy character interactions with a character getting the hots for someone wanting/trying to kill them?
The particular example that’s hitting me right now is in Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros, and I really don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum so please don’t take this as criticism. If you enjoy this sort of thing, please, happy reading!
But I’m just having such a hard time with a character who’s supposed to be intelligent losing her wits for someone who yells at her, wants her dead, and in no way makes her feel safe, and his only good quality is that he makes her horny. What’s the appeal?
I’m gonna be honest, as someone with a personal background with violence and abuse, while I no longer find it triggering it is concerning and I certainly can’t get into it. It’s just toxic, and reads more like fanfiction.
Furthermore, is this what modern Enemies to Lovers really is, commonly, or are there better, less toxic examples in what’s being recently published?
(Speaking of FW and fanfiction, if you like the book, you like it, and I don’t totally hate it myself. But I’ve personally read fanfictions with better ETL, better slow burns and better, less trope-y writing in general.)
Would love to understand why this is so popular.
by rock_kid
12 Comments
I saw madmartigan fall in love with that redheaded princess in Willow and the whole schtick just kind of stuck with me
Usually it’s not true “want-to-kill-you” enemies. Contemporary versions of this trope are usually (often work or sports) competitors to lovers. I can’t think of any examples where it’s violence or abuse to lovers.
A good contemporary example is “The Hating Game” by Sally Thorne. Skip the Netflix movie, it’s kinda garbage.
This might be a bit of an offbranch of the guy thing where 2 guys can beat each other up and end up good friends afterward. Or possibly something similar to the suspension bridge effect where being in a scenario with someone where heart rate gets elevated can make people fall for each other as the feelings are felt similar physically.
For me I like it in scenarios where the 2 characters are somewhat evenly matched. Both are a danger to each other and the danger holds a kind of thrill.
It’s generally not my fave trope but I can see the appeal when the relationship as enemies is adversarial but not necessarily toxic. They can challenge each other and despite being in opposition, still bring out the best in each other as they have to rise to the occasion of their enemy. And then if there’s a solid arc of enemies to lovers, the character development can be really great to see.
Adrenaline can be/is addicting and thrilling, basically no matter where it comes from and your body isn’t necessarily good at telling the difference between a “good” source or a “bad” one. Un-fun fact: this is part of why some people who leave abusive/unhealthy/toxic relationships have trouble maintaining healthy ones. The lack of adrenaline from fear/the love bombing cycle makes the comparative healthy relationship feel “boring” or (as lots of people put it) like there’s no “spark”
Romance novels that focus on a type of romance that fills us with adrenaline are a safe way of experiencing that in a fantasy that can be ended. Much like a roller coaster lets us experience a fall from a great height, or a horror movie lets us experience gore or violence.
It’s not appealing to everyone, and some people use it in a way that’s unhealthy, but most people are able to enjoy these adrenaline causing romance books for the same reason we enjoy roller coasters and horror movies. It’s a fantasy they get some thrills from and are able to separate from reality or what they really want in romance.
Tbf, and spoilers incoming, Xaden does not actually want Violet dead; she just thinks he does. Their romance really only proceeds once some of that is cleared up.
To me, I like enemies to lovers in the right context and done right because it shows growth amongst the characters and overcoming of obstacles. I think it’s a difficult trope to do well, though. Too often an author gives weak reasons for one or both characters to shunt aside their convictions and give into lust which doesn’t do it for me personally. But if a character is able to move from black vs white to grey, I’m all over that. Also, not all enemies are those that are trying to figure kill each other; it could be two people who don’t get along or share a goal but have opposing methods of obtaining it.
Enemies respect each other. >!This is how you lose the Time War!< is probably the best example I can offer.
I haven’t read any fantasy romance or anything with literal “want to kill you” enemies, but in the types of romance I read, I like the “oh there’s more to you than I thought” moments of emotional intimacy—in ETL and in the “fake relationship” trope
Fourth Wing isn’t really the best written example of this trope. The classic is Pride and Prejudice, I think most would say. And well written enemies to lovers doesn’t feature violence or abuse. I like the build up of tension and the gradual realization that happens as the plot progresses. Howl’s Moving Castle is a cute example. A Deadly Education is another recent one I enjoyed.
I love enemies to lovers books when they have good or reasonable reasons for her behavior and it‘s a slow burn (like in the cruel prince)
In my eyes fourth wing wasn‘t even enemies to lovers and they are just toxic and annoying
Is it that complicated? Lots of people are attracted to bad boys/bad girls. Even if you wouldn’t actually date someone dangerous in real life, the fantasy could be pretty thrilling.
Mixing the possibility of perilous terrors with the incredible heights of passion is, at the very least, never boring.
I like Fourth Wing but it’s not great nor is it a good example of this trope. What you’re describing is another trope common in dark/fantasy romance books called body betrayal syndrome, a lot of people dislike it but some people I’m sure are into it. 🤷🏼♀️