Overcoming the fear of death

Hi all, I’m hoping someone could point me in the direction of a good book to help me come to terms with death and terminal illness.

I’ve read through previous posts about the same topic, but nothing has jumped out to me as fitting for my specific scenario and personality but I could be wrong.

Some things that I’m looking for and information that might help:

I grew up in a Christian household, having the fear of death instilled in me from my early childhood. The “you’ll burn in hell” mindset. I consider myself a hopeful agnostic at the moment, but I’m not religious. However, that fear is still engrained in me. The realist in me relates a lot the view of death of a character named Riley from the show Midnight mass if you’re familiar. However, I hope there to be something else.

I’m 31 and just became a father at the beginning of this year.

I’m a cancer survivor. Had Hodgkin’s lymphoma at the age of 18 and have been dealing with crippling health anxiety ever since. Currently going through some health issues and always seem to have some sort of health problem going on.

Some of my biggest fears are leaving my family (my wife and daughter) behind, the fact that they would have to learn to move on without me in order to be happy also really gets to me. The thought of my wife who I’ve been with since high school marrying another person and the potential for my daughter to have a new dad scares the crap out of me and deeply saddens me. Last but not least, the possibility of everlasting pain and agony based on things that I’ve done in the past.

I enjoy shorter books and something I can relate to if possible. Humor and easy readability is a huge win as well. I’m introverted, work in cybersecurity, and video games/tv shows are my go to in terms of every day hobbies. I’m trying to push myself to read more and I feel like this is a good place to start given my current circumstances.

I’ve talked to my wife about my worries before and I am also currently in therapy, so I’m taking other steps as well to help alleviate these streasors. I’m just looking for anything that may help and appreciate the suggestions!

by cluesthecat