Need a book recommendation that has reputation to transform a BOY to a MAN.

I am 22 yo guy ,just started the job . Everything feels little off for past couple of months, I don't have good sleep cycle.

I crave attention like a baby , I don't like staying alone. So I chose the character of a Joker.
I crack funny jokes earlier in college and now in corporate.so that people like me, everytime I do it
I know – i am betraying myself..since it gives the perception that – i can be part of something by being someone I am not.

At the end of day – what i am even bargaining for, i am still alone and tired.

I am looking for a book where a character goes from being a goof to someone who people look up to. A man indeed.

I mostly like nonfiction but I don't mind reading good fiction .
Thanks .

Even i think this might not blew up, i liked writing this . I feel calmer now .