I guess this is something we'll all have to face someday day, one way or another. I'd truly appreciate insight on what you'd do in my situation.
I've been decluttering my parents house. There were hundreds and hundreds of books. As a retired librarian it wasn't that difficult a task (crumbling paperbacks, duplicates, random non fiction of no interest). Also they weren't my books which allowed me to be relatively impartial and happily, I live near a town with several lovely second hand book shops that take donations.
However this is my dilemma. The most difficult, in fact still impossible, books were the ones that had been inscribed as gifts (e.g. Darling Elizabeth, from Mummy and Daddy, Christmas 1946) or just had my late Mum's name written inside the cover in her handwriting. I find that as objects they have tremendous sentimental value and I cling to them but as book titles I have no interest in keeping them.
There's about two metres of them. Dad has room for them, so it's not urgent, but one day I'll have to face this emotional task head on.
What would you do?
by Hetty-Hedgerow
6 Comments
I mean, seems pretty straight forward. If you have an attachment to them, you should keep them. There’s no law that says you have to get rid of them. Even if you have no interest in reading them your kids might, or you could use them just as decoration, or just keep them in a box in the closet. If they don’t end up as family heirlooms someone, at some point, will probably lack the attachment to them and get rid of them. Doesn’t have to be you.
Keep a couple, get rid of the rest. Whether it’s one book or one meter of books, it’s going to have the same sentimental value, unless you’re actually interested in reading the books, so there’s no point in keeping a huge number of books you don’t care about, just because they’re inscribed, if you’re going to get the same feeling from just having a few that are the most meaningful. This is especially true if they’re from people you never even met.
I went through this all when my mother passed. It’s so easy to convince yourself that you should hold onto everything, but, ultimately, it’s just going to take up space, and you’ll create a “death by a thousand cuts” situation for yourself, where it pains you every time you realize you need to get rid of a little more.
Ultimately, would your mother want you to hold onto all of them even though you don’t care about them as books? Or would she be happy to know that they were getting a second life with a reader who might actually enjoy them?
Pick like three that you think were her favorites or that have a good example of her signature or that have meaningful inscriptions in them, and give the rest away, would be my approach.
If it’s the signatures and what that have the sentimental value, why don’t you just cut them out? And then put them in a scrapbook where you can easily access all of the actual sentimental items you want without having the books that you don’t actually care about on your shelves taking up valuable space?
I have a high built in shelf (16 inches from the ceiling) across one wall in my craft room. It’s perfect for storing books I won’t read again but can’t get rid of yet. Out of the way, but I can see them. If you plan to keep some of them eventually, maybe you can place a shorter high shelf for them.
Inscriptions are such a lovely find at the used book store. I hope you don’t cut them out.
Rip out the pages with the signatures or inscriptions.
I did that with one of my grandfather’s books. It was lovely to see his signature, but I had less than zero interest in the book itself, which went straight into the trash.
It worked for me – I got what I wanted out of it, and didn’t have to suffer keeping what I didn’t want.
I always smile when I see notes like that on a used book and I understand why you’d cherish them. I would scan the inside covers with the messages I wanted to preserve and use them as bookmarks. You could edit them together as a collage or print out and add to a scrapbook or photo album depending on how digital your creativity leans.