I've been dating this person for a long time and have never had any serious issues within the relationship. However I've also never done serious active work or maintenance to ensure the longevity of a relationship I want to make last.
I'd like to learn how to navigate our first serious conflicts, and break out of certain 'scripts' I find us in as a couple. They aren't bad in a vacuum, but over time certain behaviors and habits will become corrosive to our relationship and I'd like to nip those in the bud.
Basically, a book about how to have those tough conversations, what questions to be asking, how to frame issues, find them and talk about them, etc.
Bonus stuff I won't elaborate on but might influence recommendations: I'm a man in a heterosexual relationship, me and my partner have adhd, and in 4 years we have never had a fight or serious conflict. but im noticing the first whiffs of issues we need to find out, figure out, and address before they become huge, and we do plan on couples therapy but logistically it's not an option atm.
Anyway, sorry, brevity has never been my strongsuit. But thank you for any recommendations! Marked NSFW for any intimate suggestions.
Also! I plan to read some of john gottmans stuff, so for him, what book should i start with given where we are in our relationship?
by waffle-man