im 18, a girl and i have always been a total outsider to people.
I understand social rules and expectations clearly but I have this natural aversion to it all, it freaks me out really. I look the part, bald to the skin shaved head, stretched piercings, lol. I think part of it is because I feel so childlike still. I want to learn about everything and go everywhere.
It's funny because I feel like i'm so naive and not at all clever but I don't meet anybody else who understands. I romanticise everything I come across and get lost for hours in these elaborate daydreams, of being a late 60s-70s new yorker in glitter and fur coats and droopy bottom eyelashes being recorded for short artsy films wobbling trashily in high heels lol or starting a band like captain beefheart and I have so many ideas of ways I would mess with people and song lyrics and everything. I'm reaaaalllyyyy interested in stuff like the belief of original sin in christianity especially if it's thought of/used in a naive and fucked up child/childish thinking to explain horrible stuff sort of way but idk if that makes sense or if it has a name.
I like outsider music, I like tiny tim, wild man fischer, the space lady, that sort of thing, people who are so brilliant and eccentric without caring, I don't have any musical knowledge myself either at all. I think it gives me an advantage though because I don't feel like I have to restrict myself into what's considered good or bad or right or wrong. I want to hear primal, human music from all walks of life all around the world with all sorts of instruments, I want to learn about people who were just batshit but aware and truly did not care how other people saw them.
Does anybody know any books to read? Any genre at all.
Right now i'm reading the electric kool aid acid test. I love writers like William S burroughs and Yukio Mishima. Mishima is my favourite of all time. I like collage artists and dadaism too.
To give you an idea of what i'm into music wise I like The west coast pop art experimental band (I love the sort of infantile quality they have imo ?) ofc Zappa and the mothers, looove the GTOS and their song 'i'm in love with the oo oo man,' the original Nirvana band from the 60s, of course the velvet underground too, also a big big big fan of patti smith and proto punk in general. Thank youuu💜💜💜
by Late_Food_9217