I am looking for a self-help/therapy-type book for someone very special to me. His parents were teenagers when they had him and separated when he was really young. From about the age of 8 on he was practically raising himself. His parents loved him and never hit him or yelled at him, but they also didn't always raise him and definitely didn't teach him how to deal with his emotions. They would be out working or partaking in their hobbies while he had to get himself home from elementary school, get in the house, make dinner, clean up, do his homework, and get himself in bed. There were times where he was accidentally locked outside in the cold and darkness until his parents eventually came home in the middle of the night (no cellphones, this was the early 90s).
When they would fight he would be stuck in the middle playing the mediator and to this day he hates conflict to the point that he has a hard time standing up for himself. He began working cleaning houses and businesses at a very young age and to this day he is extremely hard working, never slows down, and when he's anxious he just works even harder because resting makes his anxiety worse. He has had to support one of his parents several times throughout his teenage and adult years. Again, his parents have huge hearts and I know that their neglect of him wasn't malicious because they were kids too, and they definitely learned from their mistakes, but the damage has been done and no one has been there for him to try and help him fix it.
Currently, he is extremely burnt out and depressed. While he has been extremely successful (he was the first person in his family to go to college and law school), he is currently struggling to take care of himself because he's so exhausted. He does everything for everyone around him to the point that he burns himself out and neglects himself. He is and always has been very disciplined and has a system for everything that he does. He is hyper independent and over the past 5-10 years he has begun isolating himself from friends and family and rarely goes out to do anything fun for himself. When he does it's to go hiking in the woods by himself, which has been his favorite hobby since he was a kid. He is not in touch with his emotions, not emotionally available, and even when he does know how he's feeling he has a hard time communicating those feelings.
He needs therapy, but that's not really in the cards for him right now. I want to find a book that can help him understand himself a little better and give him a starting place to resolving these issues so he can find happiness. Any recommendations?
by Small__Law