I have to admit, as a 26F I didn’t plan on really reading this book to emotionally connect. I read it because I grew up dancing to her music and then watching her “breakdown” happen. When it was announced for release I thought (based on her instagram posts) this was going to be a comical piece of literature with victim mentality. I was interested, but for all the wrong reasons.
I read it straight though today. Started about 10:40 this morning and finished it by 3:30 this afternoon. I was beyond wrong and feel terrible for never looking into what was going on beyond the shaved head photos and magazine headlines in the grocery store checkout lines. I am not a tabloid person but also, when that all was happening I was very young and had no reason to question why she was being portrayed that way.
It’s so hard as a reader to know we’re only getting an ounce of the pain she suffered in all those years. Such a bubbly soul, completely demoralized and left to wither. A slave in her own career, trapped in the empire she built but not allowed to expand on it as she grew. Absolutely enraging and heartbreaking. She took accountability for the things she made mistakes on too, which was admirable.
I appreciate her for being so raw and vulnerable. All she ever wanted was to feel peace and live out her dream, and she worked so damn hard for that only to have it ripped away. Fame doesn’t make her less human and the memoir was all the good, bad, and downright ugly that comes with being a human.
I’m interested in now in reading Jayme Lynn’s book as well as her mother’s. Wondering the contrasts or if it’ll alter my feelings (or possibly fuel my current). Has anyone read those?
TL DR; I thought the book would be a joke, I was utterly wrong. I am sad for her. Have you read her sister/mom’s books?
by Abbeysugrue