The books aren’t all terrible. We’ve had some really good reads and some good conversations about terrible ones, but actually reading most of the books makes me want to pull my fingernails out.
The problem is this: years and years ago when they started the book club, they decided to use the library “book club set” books so no one had to pay for a book club book. This was fine for a few years when the options were plentiful, but the organizer says we’ve almost exhausted the city library and she’s going to get a card at the neighboring city library. We really are scraping the barrel, I guess.
So many of the books are a “book club book,” a genre that doesn’t just include questions in the back for discussion, but also a Woman With Relationship Drama whose story of divorce or moving to a new town or ex-boyfriend coming back into her life is interspersed with chapters about some Deep Historical Moment, like the Great Depression or the Holocaust or American slavery. By the end, the ghosts of the past will be comfortably laid to rest and our heroine will get laid. Or be liberated. Or both.
I don’t think I’m the only one in the group unimpressed with the books. The conversation after “what did you all think?” is strained, like someone asking what you think of a new son-in-law you don’t like. These are smart, educated, curious women and they don’t like being pandered to.
The problem is I’m a newcomer, so even if I have suggestions to improve the books we read (classic literature that’s in public domain! Something short so we can share copies! Just trusting our upper-middle-class group to spend $12 once a month), this group has more than a decade of history. Do I just go along because these are cool ladies and I like the conversation or do I stage a coup?
TLDR: my book club only uses the library book club sets, which consist of books that aren’t as smart and thoughtful as the ladies who read them— as a newcomer, can I suggest a change?
Edit: thank you for all the great, thoughtful suggestions! You’re a great bunch!
I realized I have another resource at hand— the book club doesn’t meet during summer (I think they started that rule when the ladies had kids in school to accommodate for summer vacations, although they are now mostly empty nesters), so it wouldn’t be an offense (I think) to start a summer-only book club and invite the same ladies, but have different rules and expectations. Even if we have 3-5 people instead of 8-15, that would make it easier to get books. I once belonged to a summer-only book club for a few summers and it was fun to have a short period to focus on one genre or idea for a few months.
by uselessfoster
42 Comments
Grow a pair , and tell them how you feel in a constructive manner. Maybe suggest some titles or idk don’t go to the book club.
Does your library offer ebooks or audiobooks? I’ve found that selection to be a lot larger because they don’t have to maintain space for physical books. But, otherwise, maybe phrase your objection as “I didn’t realize we would be reading these types of books. Are you open to suggestions? Because classics…” are not as boring as people think, are often public domain, and don’t make you want to pick parts of your body off.
My mom reads cozy mysteries, so I definitely get how some books can be enjoyable for others, but make me want to roll my eyes so far back into my head that they pop out, skitter across the floor, and get chased by my cat.
Either asking if you can make suggestions or just finding another book club are your two best options.
Another option would be to coordinate with your library for interlibrary loans. If you pick titles out a month or so a library can probably get enough copies to read, provided you’re not asking for the current, hottest titles. Especially true if some of your group is open to buying their own copy and reducing the number of loans you need. I work in libraries and the librarian at one of my previous libraries did this for her young readers book club.
If there is an opportunity for just general discussion, I would try to ask something like “would the group be open to selecting books outside of the library book club offerings a few times a year?”
I also wouldn’t stay in a book club that had books that were cringy on a regular basis.
Another option is to go to the library and ask what if anything you can do to create book club bundles for books you enjoy. I’ve never met a librarian that didn’t want to improve access to books a reader enjoys, and they can’t change things if they don’t know there is a desire for it.
I know your question was a bit different, but since you’re a newcomer, would it be feasible to just start your own bookclub? I was once part of a bookclub I didn’t always connect with (book wise) so I started another one. I still participated in the first one when they had books that interested me, but having my own book club was fun. Just to note, the first bookclub for me was in SF and people dropped in and out all the time so nobody was offended I started a different one.
“Hey, it seems like we’re exhausting this library a bit. Maybe we can try something else, like using hoopla/libby to read ebooks through the library (this might be hard if they only have one ebook copy but it also introduces the idea of ebooks which can be cheaper/easier to access). Not trying to be rude, just feels like we could really benefit for looking outside of strict library access, since we seem to be struggling with new books right now!”
Maybe suggest an update to the way you choose the books? You can cite an old book club, an online blog, this reddit thread, whatever. “I saw this great system for assigning a genre/theme to each month, each member nominating a pick, and then voting on them. It seems like it’s a great way for us to all branch out in genre’s and bring our favorite books to the table!” If they then say “But the cost! Accessibility!” You can ask if this is still a barrier for anyone, or suggest an anonymous poll to see if people NEED this accommodation.
The thing is, if the discussions are as awkward and tense as you say, everyone is just waiting for someone else to say something. You’ll get at least one or two other members who are like “YES that sounds like a cool idea, let’s explore that!” And if someone pushes back, you can say “I appreciate that you all are thinking about accessibility! There might be ways of keeping that as a core value of the club without using the library. What do you think about….” and then make the suggestions above.
Worst case scenario, everyone hate the idea and thinks you are super rude for barging in to the book club and changing the rules. Then it’s just not the club for you. Maybe you start your own with a few members of the old group who agree with you.
My library gets all our books through inter-library loan. Any book we want as long as there are 8-10 copies throughout the state.
This would be a really roundabout way to solve this, but can you talk to the library about buying new books for their “book club set” ?
Could you convince the group to sign up for Book of the Month for a few months and everyone reads the same book? I believe it’s $16 a month.
Or pitch an experiment of following Reese’s Book Club or Read with Jenna or whatever for a few months–maybe take up a collection for buying the books if the issue is select members who are more financially insecure.
Just note that books aren’t $12 anymore. Adult frontlist hardcovers can be as much as $30 and even trade paperback prices are up to $18 for a lot of adult genres. Books are expensive.
So you just joined an already existing group and you want to tell them how they are wrong and you are right? It really looks like you don’t match the rest of the group. Find another book club.
I’ve been to a few book groups over the years. Moving around, groups changing or dissolving, what you’re saying really resonates. One group in particular.
Groups have a kind of energy of their own, usually it flows from the top down. If it feels like the group is pretty set in its ways you’re not going to fit in unless you toe the line. I’d be curious (and love to be a fly on the wall) if you were to go in and suggest a change, watch what the leader does. Not necessarily the one who hosts the group, but there will be a leader who everyone else follows. If they’re open and ask, are curious about what you’re bringing and don’t dismiss it I’d perhaps think about staying. If they do dismiss it or are hostile to your suggestions I’d move on. Maybe start your own.
If you want to change things and don’t mind sticking at it for a while, doing it slowly can be an option. My suggestion at discussion level is to give them a shit sandwich. Something good, something bad, end on something good. The writing was beautiful, the story was terrible, the author has a rich imagination. It works for everything and we all take it a bit better. This group has been very welcoming, the books are quite limited, we’re all such hungry readers (then suggest you expand the list…)
Its very tricky being a newcomer. We don’t tend to like it if we belong to an established group and someone new comes and tells us we’re not doing it to their liking. The last group I was in for a few years and was very similar to the one you describe. If anyone suggested anything new the leader felt their toes were being stepped on and dug in their heels. When they asked what we’d been reading I brought a mix of genres, short stories, poetry, you name it. People would roll their eyes. Most just wanted the same stuff which to me defeats the object of going to a book group. But there you go. I left and spend the evening reading instead of banging my head against a wall!
This is why I’m not part of a book club. It Would annoy me too much I think to have to read a specific book that’s probably an easy read (possibly a tactic to encourage people to finish it in the allotted time) and a book I would never chose to read for myself. It’s a shame as I love reading and genuinely would love to share my experiences of books however I just don’t think I could force myself through books I have no interest in. Time on earth is short enough without wasting it on rubbish books.
So you have three choices:
1) when suggestions for the new books to read happens you suggest some titles you think would generate more thoughtful and useful discussions: look into how these can be cheaply obtained for the group beforehand
2) chalk book club up to an experience that you either just attend because you like the social aspect but put up with painful book choices
3) you quit going to because the book choices are too painful
Instead of reading the same book you could read books around a central theme, that way everyone can choose a book they like and the library should in theory have enough copies. It could make the discussion really interesting as each book/author will portray that theme differently.
I think a newcomer telling someone to change is never going to work in your favor. You might be correct that they all secretly hate the book choices, but someone keeps making those choices.
You might think the book choices don’t reflect the people who read them but surely they would choose books that suit them. Unless you think they’re incapable of making choices that are best for them.
The problem seems to be monetary related. Maybe the organizers don’t want to leave out people who can’t buy frequently. If that’s the case perhaps you can suggest/figure out a middle point, like making use of Kindle offfers or pooling money voluntarily/anonimously church style to buy second hand for the club (?)
One of things you have working in your favor is that these books don’t seem to be “hand selected” by the members of the club so the risk of offending someone deeply by stating that you didn’t like the book is low. I’d lean into that.
“Ladies, I love spending time you all and the only way it’d be better is if these books weren’t total horse shit…” (maybe not exactly those words).
“I heard about this interesting book [insert a book you haven’t read but have genuine interest in] and I think we would enjoy it and even if it’s not great, blaming me for the recommendation will be a lively conversation”
“We’ve/you’ve read almost everything the library has on offer for book clubs. Why don’t we seek out other recommendations?”
In all honesty, I think if you make it clear that you aren’t trying to take over, but that you hoped that the book selection would have more variety/quality to it, reasonable people will understand.
This might not be the right book club for you
I’d speak to the ring leader directly, privately.
“Hey! Thanks again for inviting me! I really love the ladies and have been having a great time socialising with you all. I wanted to talk to you about the books we’ve been reading though… TBH I’ve been struggling to connect with the last three. I was wondering if you’d be open to [insert request]?”
Keep your request reasonable and fair. Good luck!
>books that aren’t as smart and thoughtful as the ladies who read them
Is it possible that’s their book club vibe and they have chosen those books so shit isn’t stirred between people or so they can have nice relaxing reads? I might be in the minority in opinion here but it sounds to me like you need a new book club and this one doesn’t suit you.
Libby has book club books.
In California, any county library will give a California resident a library card at no charge, but you do have to present in person. I now have 5 cards and usually only wait 2 weeks for any book I want.
I would tactfully point out to the organizer that she can save herself trips to the nearby town if you switch to public domain books. I would not do this in front of everyone.
If the organizer doesn’t respond to your suggestion, I would find or start a different group.
Don’t. Just leave
I’ve been in a book club since 2020. Sometimes the selections seem “all the same” and they’re almost all woman authors, mostly relationship-type themes or historical fiction, not too challenging lengthwise. I stay because I like the people in the club. They are people I’d never meet/see otherwise. Not every book club is exclusively about the books.
I’m a librarian, we are totally cool with patrons requesting we acquire titles. IN FACT, if you ask to speak to the Director/Librarian/Whoever handles Collection Development about improve the “Book Club Set” with newer (or even classic) titles, I’m sure they would be delighted.
Bake a cake that says, “These books suck.”
My book club makes a point of selecting books that are available through the library, but we’ve never done a book club kit. We just do a little research ahead of time in the online catalog to find books with enough copies available.
If your library system is big enough, and you’re not picking new releases, you can possibly still get enough copies for everyone to read. Might mean readers will need to place some holds and pick them up, but it’s possible.
Your book club material still sounds better than the last one I was in, which devolved into every other book being by Colleen Hoover.
My wife was in a long-standing book club for a few years. I asked her what the discussions were like, she said “oh, it’s a drinking club with a book problem”.
I don’t exactly disagree with the content of your post. I do a book club with my friends and we switch between sprawling historical fantasy, classics, smut, sci Fi, fluff, etc. I’d get pretty bored if all we read was fluff.
That being said, your post is kinda condescending. Smart and thoughtful ladies should only read classics and “serious literature” because y’all are better than the fluff books you’re reading? That’s a really condescending point of view.
Maybe the ladies want to keep the book club inclusive to people that can’t afford to buy books.
Maybe the ladies don’t want to buy 12 new books a year and create all this digital and physical waste for a book they’re only going to read once.
Maybe they just don’t want to think that much during the book club.
All that being said, I don’t understand why you can’t be honest about what you think about the book. If you’re as smart and thoughtful as you say you are, why can’t you bring up specifics about why the book sucks. For example, instead of saying “omg, this book is just terrrrribbbllee” saying “wow, the structure of this book was a mess. It spent way too much time on x which really dragged the story” or “this representation of this minority group was very insulting for this reason”, “this book is historically inaccurate for x reasons and it really took me out of the book”.
If I’m being honest, the worst book club discussion books my group has read are the “classics” and the “smart and thoughtful” books. Mostly because we can all agree that it’s a good book with X problems.
The best and most fun book clubs have been the fluff books where we all disagree on why the book was awful. Some of us can’t stand the bad writing. Some of us don’t buy the characters, but others think the characters are believable for the worst reasons.
I want to be in whatever book club you start when you throw in the towel on this one. That description of the “book club book” was 🧑🍳💋perfect.
I know not everyone likes using Amazon, but they do have quite a few ‘top free bestsellers’ and free book promotions going on all the time. You can all select one of those every month or such.
Book club my mother has been active in for years has a fun method for dealing with the cost of books. They had a similar sentiment (don;t want the cost of buying books to be a burden for anyone interested in joining), but rather than limiting to library ‘book club’ offerings, they went another route.
They would have some sort of fundraiser event a few times a year to fund the club book purchases. usually something simple (bake sale, community fish fry/pancake breakfast, run concessions stand at local sporting events etc). Everyone can contribute (either financially or by helping out), then the fund would buy books for the club. They’d usually donate them after reading to local high school book clubs or other charities.
Maybe wont work for you/your club, but just a thought
A book club should be open to talking about why a book or does or doesn’t interest it’s members. Newcomer or not, you should be able to say how you feel, and if someone likes the book, they should be able to explain why they like it. That’s the entire point of a book club, to foster discussion.
I’m sure people have already given you good suggestions, but one thing I’ll add is that you shouldn’t be afraid to say you didn’t like a book! My book club has had some of our best discussions for books that were universally disliked or had a split between people who liked it and those who didn’t. Make the cringe in these books part of the discussion! Talk about how they are trope-y and over-reliant on cliches!
Instead of all reading the same book, suggest reading on a theme and then everyone can booktalk their own books. Standard book clubs can be dull even with a ‘good’ book.
Upper middle class people who can’t afford a monthly book is a real dilemma. What if you organized a bake sale to pay for the books?
Sorry for the snark but **definitely stage a coup.** You can find a ton of books for less than $10 and almost all non-new books for under $20. Cost shouldn’t be an excuse.
Stage a coup? You have to be joking…
Did you make it through this entire ridiculously long post without mentioning a single book you didn’t like?
Our bookclub had the same issue, and it was self selected, each month a book clubber would pick a genre and we kept on reading essentially the same romance novels or crime novels, bottom of the barrel stuff.
So at the first annual meeting we had a discussion about what we wanted to do about this and we have a genre each month and you are assigned a genre, and a £5 budget. We also have a mixed range of people so we also set a page limit of 400 (not hard and fast with that last one but we found anything more than this and some of our members struggled).
Honestly it really increased the quality of books, and mostly meant that we weren’t reading the same thing over and over.
I’ve since given up as I don’t enjoy being told what to read, I like to go with my mood, but it was helpful.
I don’t think being part of a book club and paying for a book should be a big deal. 😂
My local book club (that I’ve been in for over ten years now) reads books that have at least 5+ copies from the library available. We don’t want anyone to feel they can’t come because they can’t buy the book, or simply don’t want to every time. We also read two a month, usually a fiction and a non-fiction, but we switch it up.
We’ve read such a variety. I’ve read a ton of books I’d never have found otherwise. I’ve found some gems. We’ve found some we swore we’d never read again and a few we metaphorically burned (not into real burning but we did come close a couple times).
So there should be a wide variety of options from your local library, but it sounds like the criteria for selections needs to be opened up.
I’m middle class- could I spend $12/month for book club? Yes. Do I want to, for a book I may read once and never again? Nope.
So we have the option of the library, those that want to buy can, those that don’t don’t have to. We wait on bestsellers and new ones because the wait lists are too long and if getting from the library, it wouldn’t come in in time.
Expressing an interest in branching out should be celebrated- but I wouldn’t say “these books are terrible.” Just yet. I’ve been in 10 years and we’re all very opinionated, so we’ll flat out say when we hated a book, and why, every opinion is valid, but we can be more open as most of our members are long-term and we know each other well. We’re not putting down someone who did like it, we’re saying why *we* didn’t.
Starting your own book club with a different focus or not is also your prerogative- if someone wants to join, they can, if not, then they don’t have to. I think it’d be in how you state it- “Hey since we don’t meet in the summer, those of us that can/want to, let’s do something on the side!” not “I don’t like this club I’m starting my own to sabotage you.” It’s possible someone might feel that way (organizer, maybe), but if your intentions are made clear (additional, not trying to usurp), then you can’t control other people’s feelings.
My club picks books a few months in advance so people have time to put holds on at the library. We also avoid brand new books with a thousand holds. That way, people don’t need to buy the book but we’re not all fighting over the same two copies at the same time. This might not work if your library selection is very small though.