Lingering wars, growing instability, AI, whatever else comes to mind. I feel like I brought my 9-month baby into a broken world. Suggest me a book to cope with this feeling. I don't want self help please, nor naively optimistic reads.
I think you should read something dystopian. It will help you understand that even though the situation is terrible right now, so much worse can happen.
I would suggest The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood.
neogeshel on
Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler
the_elephant_sack on
The Road by Cormack McCarthy. I am an older dad and so was McCarthy. This is a book about hoping to provide the best for your kid in a dystopian setting. I probably read it when my first kid was about your kid’s age. It is a dark book, but I found it help me deal with stuff similar to what you are talking about.
narwhalesterel on
then i probably cannot recommend Breasts and Eggs by Meiko Kawakami more. its about a woman who is considering having a child on her own but there are so many outside forces telling her different things and she’s still trying to figure herself out as well. really grapples with the reality of womanhood and implications of having children
Tanagrabelle on
I cannot hug you more.
* The Companions, by Sherri S. Tepper
* Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury
* The Martian Chronicles: The Grand Master Editions, by Ray Bradbury (Make sure Way In The Middle of the Air is included if you can.)
* The Illustrated Man, by Ray Bradbury (I mean, honestly!)
* Walk To End Of World, by Suzy McKee Charnas (sequel has no male characters.)
* On The Beach, by Nevil Shute
* The Dark Tower series, by Stephen King (it’s a rabbit hole)
* The Female Man, by Joanna Russ
* Isolation: The Horror Anthology, edited by M.R. Carey
Am I going wrong here?
irish_taco_maiden on
The world has always been broken, but trust me that your loved ones, children included, make it worth living in, anyway.
All the books I’d recommend are more self-help reframes and changing your paradigm. Which it sounds like you desperately need. But I’ll keep them to myself since you’re not there yet. Wishing you the very best though.
I’m going to echo The Road as one potentially great option right now, but if that depresses you more maybe consider getting lost in an urban fantasy romance or something polar opposite of how you’re feeling? Immersive adventures can be a lovely escape from existential dread.
Bovey on
Read some history books to help gain some perspective. Yea, there are problems in the world. There have *always* been problems in the world. Through almost all of human history the problems everday people have faced have been significantly worse than they are today.
If pure history doesn’t appeal to you, then maybe some historical fiction that provides some reasonably accurate depcitions of what life was like for people in other places and times. In this genre I’d recommend something by Ken Follett.
*The Pillars of the Earth* and *World Without End* are set in 12th and 14th Century England respectively, but during some pretty tumultuous times. For something a little more modern I’d recommend his *Century Trilogy* which follows several families from Western Nations over the course of 3 generations though the 20th Century.
Per_Mikkelsen on
Cormac McCarthy’s *The Road*
AltharaD on
Victoria Goddard, Hands of the Emperor.
Broken systems can be fixed. Bad things can be overcome. This book makes me daydream about what would happen if competent and well intentioned people were in charge of the government.
AnonThrowawayProf on
Broken Earth trilogy by N.K. Jemison is absolutely what you are looking for.
more_d_than_the_m on
Factfulness by Hans Rosling? It’s optimistic but I don’t think it’s naive, and it helped me a lot with exactly the same feelings.
Galtung7771 on
Let This Radicalize You by Mariame Kaba and Kelly Hayes.
“Longtime organizers and movement educators Mariame Kaba and Kelly Hayes examine some of the political lessons of the COVID-19 pandemic, including the convergence of mass protest and mass formations of mutual aid, and consider what this confluence of power can teach us about a future that will require mass acts of care, rescue and defense, in the face of both state violence and environmental disaster.”
Colerush91 on
{{The Road by Cormac McCarthy}}
Dugong333 on
Practice becoming emotionally resilient.
Meditate, therapy, less media consumption, find the thing that makes your life more meaningful, eat well, sleep well, exercise, socialize.
Your child needs a parent who has trust in this world. Try to be optimistic. How you move through life has a major influence on your child’s perception of the world.
Most people want the same thing: be happy, healthy, safe, rich.
Most people are cool. Fear not!
_byetony_ on
I’d work on Buddhist acceptance if I were you
LateBloomer2018 on
Maybe Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl?
TheGreatestSandwich on
I have kids and it’s pretty normal to feel discouraged at times. If it’s not the world, it’s my own failures as a parent. If not that, my child has a disorder that I’m still leaning to accept or the school system did something I’m frustrated with… The list goes on… I say this because one of the hardest things about being a parent is accepting that your child will have an “imperfect” childhood, parent, world, etc. and yet can have a meaningful life. You need to forgive yourself early and often for the ways you can’t control the world for your child. And trust the child to navigate it, imperfectly but with grace. Give them the trust you and all of us deserve. I struggle with this every day, but it is my aspiration.
Now, on to book rec’s. I will go a different direction from most commenters. While I do enjoy a good dystopian, in this case I think sometime more optimistic would be ideal.
A lot of children’s classics are actually very hopeful in the face of challenges (not naively so) and I think they would be worth considering:
* The Secret Garden
* A Little Princess
* Anne of Green Gables
* The Railway Children
* The Hobbit
* Also, you may want to consider limiting your news intake / time on social media. I’m not saying don’t ever read them, but doom scrolling will not help and it’s good to maybe not look at them after a certain time of night. Just really helps me manage my fears. (There’s actually a very interesting book that I don’t fully agree with, but I think has great points “Stop Reading the News”)
[deleted] on
[removed]
Shoshin_Sam on
Your child is destined for great things. Your child will bring together this world in ways no one can imagine, in ways only possible. Your child was the way this nature, this universe wanted to fix itself. Your child will not be a healer, for he will not care for healing. He will not be a leader, for he will not care to lead. But he will be the fixer. Great things, I tell you.
19 Comments
I think you should read something dystopian. It will help you understand that even though the situation is terrible right now, so much worse can happen.
I would suggest The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood.
Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler
The Road by Cormack McCarthy. I am an older dad and so was McCarthy. This is a book about hoping to provide the best for your kid in a dystopian setting. I probably read it when my first kid was about your kid’s age. It is a dark book, but I found it help me deal with stuff similar to what you are talking about.
then i probably cannot recommend Breasts and Eggs by Meiko Kawakami more. its about a woman who is considering having a child on her own but there are so many outside forces telling her different things and she’s still trying to figure herself out as well. really grapples with the reality of womanhood and implications of having children
I cannot hug you more.
* The Companions, by Sherri S. Tepper
* Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury
* The Martian Chronicles: The Grand Master Editions, by Ray Bradbury (Make sure Way In The Middle of the Air is included if you can.)
* The Illustrated Man, by Ray Bradbury (I mean, honestly!)
* Walk To End Of World, by Suzy McKee Charnas (sequel has no male characters.)
* On The Beach, by Nevil Shute
* The Dark Tower series, by Stephen King (it’s a rabbit hole)
* The Female Man, by Joanna Russ
* Isolation: The Horror Anthology, edited by M.R. Carey
Am I going wrong here?
The world has always been broken, but trust me that your loved ones, children included, make it worth living in, anyway.
All the books I’d recommend are more self-help reframes and changing your paradigm. Which it sounds like you desperately need. But I’ll keep them to myself since you’re not there yet. Wishing you the very best though.
I’m going to echo The Road as one potentially great option right now, but if that depresses you more maybe consider getting lost in an urban fantasy romance or something polar opposite of how you’re feeling? Immersive adventures can be a lovely escape from existential dread.
Read some history books to help gain some perspective. Yea, there are problems in the world. There have *always* been problems in the world. Through almost all of human history the problems everday people have faced have been significantly worse than they are today.
If pure history doesn’t appeal to you, then maybe some historical fiction that provides some reasonably accurate depcitions of what life was like for people in other places and times. In this genre I’d recommend something by Ken Follett.
*The Pillars of the Earth* and *World Without End* are set in 12th and 14th Century England respectively, but during some pretty tumultuous times. For something a little more modern I’d recommend his *Century Trilogy* which follows several families from Western Nations over the course of 3 generations though the 20th Century.
Cormac McCarthy’s *The Road*
Victoria Goddard, Hands of the Emperor.
Broken systems can be fixed. Bad things can be overcome. This book makes me daydream about what would happen if competent and well intentioned people were in charge of the government.
Broken Earth trilogy by N.K. Jemison is absolutely what you are looking for.
Factfulness by Hans Rosling? It’s optimistic but I don’t think it’s naive, and it helped me a lot with exactly the same feelings.
Let This Radicalize You by Mariame Kaba and Kelly Hayes.
“Longtime organizers and movement educators Mariame Kaba and Kelly Hayes examine some of the political lessons of the COVID-19 pandemic, including the convergence of mass protest and mass formations of mutual aid, and consider what this confluence of power can teach us about a future that will require mass acts of care, rescue and defense, in the face of both state violence and environmental disaster.”
{{The Road by Cormac McCarthy}}
Practice becoming emotionally resilient.
Meditate, therapy, less media consumption, find the thing that makes your life more meaningful, eat well, sleep well, exercise, socialize.
Your child needs a parent who has trust in this world. Try to be optimistic. How you move through life has a major influence on your child’s perception of the world.
Most people want the same thing: be happy, healthy, safe, rich.
Most people are cool. Fear not!
I’d work on Buddhist acceptance if I were you
Maybe Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl?
I have kids and it’s pretty normal to feel discouraged at times. If it’s not the world, it’s my own failures as a parent. If not that, my child has a disorder that I’m still leaning to accept or the school system did something I’m frustrated with… The list goes on… I say this because one of the hardest things about being a parent is accepting that your child will have an “imperfect” childhood, parent, world, etc. and yet can have a meaningful life. You need to forgive yourself early and often for the ways you can’t control the world for your child. And trust the child to navigate it, imperfectly but with grace. Give them the trust you and all of us deserve. I struggle with this every day, but it is my aspiration.
Now, on to book rec’s. I will go a different direction from most commenters. While I do enjoy a good dystopian, in this case I think sometime more optimistic would be ideal.
A lot of children’s classics are actually very hopeful in the face of challenges (not naively so) and I think they would be worth considering:
* The Secret Garden
* A Little Princess
* Anne of Green Gables
* The Railway Children
* The Hobbit
* Also, you may want to consider limiting your news intake / time on social media. I’m not saying don’t ever read them, but doom scrolling will not help and it’s good to maybe not look at them after a certain time of night. Just really helps me manage my fears. (There’s actually a very interesting book that I don’t fully agree with, but I think has great points “Stop Reading the News”)
[removed]
Your child is destined for great things. Your child will bring together this world in ways no one can imagine, in ways only possible. Your child was the way this nature, this universe wanted to fix itself. Your child will not be a healer, for he will not care for healing. He will not be a leader, for he will not care to lead. But he will be the fixer. Great things, I tell you.
Name him Saul or Harvey.
OP, A girl?