I am looking for a book on incompatibility (relationship but not sexual), and purposefulness in sex and relationships. It should be addressed to both men and women and it would be great if it had some elements of a workbook to it.
A mild Christian element would be okay, but nothing too religious.
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Basically me and my gf are at a cross roads and stopped being intimate. I have committment issues which have valid basis, and she doesnt want to do counselling or really work on it but just goes off emotion and continues. Need some guidance.
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EDIT: I am referring to relationship incompatibility, NOT SEXUAL incompatibility
Relationship incompatibility – disagreeing on certain ground principles about life, future plans, kids etc.
by Alpha_90210
3 Comments
For both of you: Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski
For you: She Comes First by Ian Kerner
Too good to leave, too bad to stay. These books talk about the super big relationship issues and how to reframe things and think about it differently.
Men who loved too much / women who loved too much, they talk about some pretty big relationship issues that are bizarre but actually aren’t once you think about it and breaks it into different ways to think about these problems.
I think that you and your partner can probably compromise on direction, and if you can’t, then both of you are going in different directions. Also, you will continue to grow as a person, that’s what life does, that’s what people do, but if your partner does not grow, say they won’t go to therapy, then you will eventually outgrow them and leave them behind and start to treat them as a child because a dependent is all that they can be.
I get that not everyone wants to go to therapy, but I think that your partner owes it to themselves to work on their issue. I think that they owe it to you as showing that they are serious about the relationship. If they don’t want to go to therapy, fine, but they need to be doing something that is actually making progress. Hint: “trying harder” is NOT a thing.
I also think that you might get a lot of help from the relationship subs here on reddit, lots of people who have experienced heartbreak or worked through it.
Hold me tight.
and if you are willing to read something by a thoughtful, wise Christian try The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller