Need a book to suggest on ways to deal with a difficult spouse

My husband and I have long conversations that often doesn’t end in any productive outcome. He doesn’t understand certain obvious and logical things and is a manipulative type, trying to quote only the positive points that favours his decision and force me to get into it by winning the argument. I often give in and give up as I get tired of talking or I probably don’t have a more powerful or efficient way of confronting him. He is diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder) and has trouble adjusting with anyone including his own parents, myself, and his sibling as well. We tried marriage counselling, and talking to friends etc but he seems to very nice and considerate at the onset but once they leave he throws their advice to the bin and continues to do what he wants. On the other hand he calls himself as “forward looking” and “growth mindset” person and has read books like “can’t hurt me”, “48 laws of power” etc but he mended the learnings from them in a way only to get his point even stronger and get things the way he wants ruthlessly. This is impacting my relationship really bad and my marriage is suffering for many years now.

I am looking for a book that helps me to deal with such people and make them understand the facts so that we take better decisions.