I like to read horror, mystrery/thriller and non-fiction history. A few memoirs and true crime. But those are very few. For the most part, I am fine with whatever I read. But I have limits to what I am comfortable with.
For instance. Lionel Shriver's We Need to Talk About Kevin-
And Iris Chang's The Rape of Nanking – I read both of these and it was hard to read. Those words can't be unread, and my brain can't forget about them.
So I won't read Jack Ketchum's The Girl Next Door, because I heard it was good, but not for someone of my sensitivities.
by wolfincheapclothing9
47 Comments
Absolutely! And they certainly have changed over time, partly because of my life experience, yet are seldom really hard boundaries. I’m mostly reading for pleasure, for example, so I tend to avoid graphic SA or some kinds of animal cruelty— but I also recognize that part of my revulsion is because so often those two elements are there for gratuitous or shock value, and when I’m reading something serious and literary that handles those topics with purpose I don’t have the same reaction.
There’s no reason you should read something that makes you uncomfortable. I’ve never made it past the third page of Lolita where it describes >!children being penetrated by objects!< but it’s not like I would judge or have any comment on people who have read it, I’m sure it’s a 20th-century masterpiece, I understand the reason that Nabokov wrote it— but I choose not to subject myself to that during my limited leisure time.
I have trouble with books where the POV is the bad guy’s. Love Connelly but a few of his are like that and I just can’t deal.
Yeah. I don’t need nitty gritty grotesque descriptions of anything and happily skip over them or abandon the book or series entirely. Like that tv show with the lady who travels through time and everyone gets raped. I quit pretty early in the second season. Not for me.
It’s a hard thing to monitor for but I really don’t like a book that’s nihilistic. Especially a long one–because all it does is bring me down.
I skip over any parts that have animal cruelty in them. I just can’t. Also, I know he’s popular on here, but I’ve avoided Cormac McCarthy because of the violence of some of his books.
Yes, but the problem is I won’t know what that limit is until I hit it. Sometimes I’m fine with gore and certain types of violence, and sometimes I read something so vile to my sensibilities that I immediately stop reading and wonder how life led me to that point (thanks, Eric LaRocca).
I just couldn’t read Pet sematery by Stephen King. Not going there.
I have trouble with intense family arguments, but am ok with fight scenes. In books, I mean.
Animal deaths and abuse are no for me, especially animals that are usually pets. I have read some very horrific scenes of human death, abuse, and torture, and they very rarely stay in my head. Anything done to animals, it’s like I can never unread them. There’s a book I dnf’ed very early on because a side character kills a black cat in a pretty horrific way. It was like one sentence but, as an owner of the sweetest black cat in the world… I’m so mad at that book because that scene just randomly pops into my head sometimes when I see my cat.
So I’m one of those weirdos that can read about serial killers and sleep just fine, but won’t watch horror movies because I’ll be up all night… But We Need to Talk About Kevin messed me up!! Legit, I still have nightmares about how the story ended 😳
I draw the line at animal and/or child torture.
As soon as I think a dog is about to get hurt I skip a few pages.
I thought so, but then I read The Library Policeman and realised I am able to read about the oppressed memory of a boy being raped by a paedophilic sex offender.
I think it helps that it wasn’t gratuitous, and actually made sense in terms of characterisation, and the darkness of the plot and setting.
I think animal abuse is something I’d struggle with.
The movie The Girl Next Door, based on Ketchum’s novel, is one of the few movies I’ve found truly disturbing. It’s so depressing knowing that was based on true events.
I was SA’d as an adult and molested during my child. I was also in a domestic violence relationship for years.
I’ve noticed that I can read books with those heavy topics. As a matter of fact, I generally read books with heavier topics. I have since I was a child. My “comfort limits” I’ve discovered when I started reading dark romance is when it’s breeding, CNC, Dubcon, and bully. I’ll start them and somewhere towards the end of the book, I’ll get emotionally ill and sometimes sick to my stomach. Something about it being “normalized “ and “romantized” bothers me.
I don’t enjoy books that torture children, extreme gore, or sappy romance books(they give me the ick).
Of course. They’re called “boundaries.” After decades of reading, mine are pretty damn clear.
Rape scenes with MF or MM – can’t do it.
I tend to avoid books that are known for being sad. I don’t mind books that are heavy, depressing, or broach darker subject matter in some other way, but stuff with more tearjerker kind of vibes I can’t really handle. I don’t mind sad moments in a book that has a lot of other emotions throughout though.
I read particular famously sad novel when I was a kid and had no idea what I was getting into, didn’t know what was coming, just thought it seemed interesting. What didn’t help is the first like, 2/3 of the novel doesn’t really give away where it’s gonna go in terms of feels so it hit me like a truck full of bricks. I’m not even sure how to describe the way I felt when I finished it. Like it left a hole in my heart or something. It was a gorgeous book and I’m glad I experienced that sort of thing once, but almost 20 years later and I still can’t bring myself to do it. There are a few particular classics I avoid because I have some idea of what happens or how it ends and think it sounds too sad to handle.
I’m a psychologist and when the main character behaves or thinks in a way that makes no sense psychologically, I completely lose interest.
I hated Donna Tartt’s The Goldfinch. To keep the story going, the main character repeatedly made idiotic decisions at critical junctures despite being an intelligent young man the rest of the time.
I gave him a couple of breaks because everyone loved the book so much but the third time that he could have resolved all his issues and chose to do something completely stupid and against his character, I literally threw the book across the room.
I like to read darker books but I tend to go back and forth with lighter books. The darker books make you think about specific scenarios. One book that I recently read by Lucinda Berry called “Saving Noah.” Very distressing topic but I devoured it.
Animal abuse, sexual assault, sometimes extreme body horror. The first two are an absolute no. The third one depends on the context and my mind space.
I feel like when things are described in more explicit detail (usual about CSA) then that’s my line and I can’t stomach a book!
I can’t handle graphic depictions of rape, it’s a deal breaker for me.
Bad things happening to babies and children, I just can’t deal with.
Recently I read Sequoia Nagamatsu’s How High We Go In the, and wanted to love it, Dark, as it has a lot in common with one of my favourite books, but the children dying in a pandemic plot was just too much for me.(and the pandemic plot in general was just too soon)
Yes. I like psychological thriller but I don’t like gore. A few times I’ve kept reading thru the gore because I was already too invested in the story, but I’ll abandon that author. I also get turned off by graphic sex scenes. I just like leaving some things to the imagination.
Yup. Rape and sex in books makes me uncomfortable. I do a lot of reading on my phone in public places (like my desk at work on lunch) and that makes that type of material even worse.
Graphic depictions of SA. I can do implied or fade to black if important to the story. Otherwise? Long, gratuitous depictions? No, thank you.
Surprisingly, I can do depictions of body horror or animals(general, not someone’s pet), but I draw the line at SA. Some authors just use it as a lazy excuse to add trauma or something to “overcome” for female characters. Which I don’t appreciate, so I try to stay away.
Even though, of course, I know there are millions of books, so not all of them will be that way.
For me, it’s true crime involving graphic depictions of cruelty and violence, especially if it’s one or two people engaging in gruesome “everyday” acts of torture and humiliation. I don’t listen to podcasts of that variety, and the only audiobook I’ve listened to is one I got for free on Audible called If You Tell by Gregg Olsen. I felt nauseous all week and wondered several times why I was putting myself through it, but I kept going. I’ll steer clear in the future. Not for me.
Any kind of abuse towards children is a no for me. Especially graphic SA???? The author either needs a very good psychiatrist and support system, or jail time
Bullying, about it.
I read a lot of thrillers and mysteries but Karin Slaughter’s books are beyond graphic. I can’t believe so many people recommend them with no warning!
Animal cruelty and overly-graphic, intentionally and vividly gross scenes.
I used to really love classic horror, and especially the old-school haunted house tale… and read a lot of great stuff when I read physical books… then I got a Nook, and then a Kindle and the subscription services for all you can read had so many awful gruesome, vile horror novels that would be suggested to me and I read a number of different authors that just turned my stomach. I will no longer use Kindle unlimited or get horror books through Bookbub, too much utter garbage. It’s back to Libby and the library for me. Not that the library doesn’t have some violent and salacious garbage here and there, but a much better stream of books to choose from then those subscription services which are badly written and filled with crap that’s too violent and sensationalist and not for any good reason. Also, I hate true crime and I hate America’s obsession with it. It’s what passes as a documentary these days, but it just feeds the worst impulses in people and colors their view of what the world is.
I just can’t do Sad Childhood Stories… Which eliminates so much litfic.
I am currently reading American psycho and anything with a dog happily gets skipped over.
Detailed sexual assault.
I read Fred and Rose, about Fred and Rose West, the serial killer couple.
I didn’t think anything could shock me.
At one point in the book I had to stop, put the book away for a few days, and wait until what I had read had passed me by before I could continue.
I think the only thing I can’t read or even watch is animals being hurt. It even applies to Disney movies. Doesn’t matter if the animals are fine in the end. The bad parts will bother me for weeks, months or years. I saw dumbo as a child and it still bothers me 50 years later.
I’m still exploring my comfort limits. I know that I can’t read graphic descriptions of rape especially with children. Other than that I haven’t explored. I know that currently I’m subconsciously avoiding darker topics. Doesn’t help that I read a lot of non fiction which are not memoirs. So I haven’t picked up books with heavier themes.
*The Rape of Nanking* was almost unbearable, I had to put it down for a couple years before finishing it. I guess that had a lot to do with Ms. Chang committing suicide. Fortunately, the later chapters focused on more uplifting activities, such as people getting rescued.
Nonetheless, I think people should read it, lest we forget those who suffered.
I couldn’t read *The Years of Rice and Salt* either – couldn’t get past the castration sequence.
The intensely realistic and terrifying cliff-face execution of the fascists in *For Whom the Bell Tolls* likewise prevented me from finishing that novel. Hemmingway can be too powerful a writer sometimes.
So, with regard to your question, “do you have comfort limits”, my answer is an emphatic *yes*.
Yes. I can read anything if I really want to. But, with my health, better not to be stressed.
Some Asian works, especially, seem to be based around raising your blood pressure with crazy stuff always happening to raise interest. Nope. Drop.
I especially hate books where every single villain seems to be going after the love interest in creepy ways.
Why. What sort of dystopian hell is this.
I also drop series if the main character is oblivious, feels dumber than I am constantly, or just generally upsets me.
He can slaughter a village if he wants. Children too, I don’t care, as long as it’s not written too dramatic. But relationship abuse, and drama for the sake of drama? No.
It’s about how it makes me feel, more than the content. And a lot of it is just dumb.
As a whole, I don’t know of any books that are worth getting trauma to read, so you might be best off dropping things that disturb you.
That said, I’ve read reviews where people were very disturbed by things I just saw as minor notes. (He rambled about how pretty a teen was for a paragraph. It was nostalgia because she was like her mother. He was immortal, so you could see how it’s relevant to him realizing the consequences of immortality. I don’t believe he had any intentions.) Depends on how you interpret things, honestly.
Yes, I have sensitivities compounded by OCD so I try to be careful not to read books with certain content warnings as I want to avoid the triggers. Certain things I’ve seen and read have stuck with me and I wish I could remove that experience from my mind!
Speaking of that, has anyone read The Family Upstairs by Lisa Jewell? The content warnings make me nervous but if the content isn’t described in graphic detail, I think I’d be fine.
Humanity-hating is my deal breaker
I stoped reading a book where the mother killed herself while the daughter was sleeping only to have the daughter be the one to find her dead mother. Also the mother left her daughter utterly alone with no future possible. As a mom of three young kids it was just to much.
I don’t read about abuse of any kind. So Cormac McCarthy is a hard no for me. Regardless of how good his writing is ( a view I do not ascribe to) I don’t care for wanton meaningless violence.
I don’t like horror because it upsets me too much. Which is odd because I have read some very gruesome fantasy books.
Haven’t yet encountered them in a way I couldn’t read/finish a book. However there’s stuff which is a bit uncomfortable like child abuse, self hurt and eating disorders cause I dealt with a bit of that myself.