July 2024
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    Hey guys,

    I know Reddit is full of posts where people ask for books on how to become friends with oneself but their origin is that they hate themselves.

    I like myself and I am a creative and charismatic person who plays instruments … and I am sure other people would be happy to be able to do and express what I can … but they would like to feel how I feel, that I can say

    To be honest I think if I had more interesting adventoures things in my life I would not practice guitar …

    I always say if only I had a beach where I can snorkel. If only I was living in a nature like environment like Australia….

    I always have the feeling of missing out something in life. I look out of my window in a busy street and see people laughing, and doing social activities. … in my stressful social job I also laugh a lot and when I am at home I am actually tired of people but still

    And all I do is seeking attention and affirmation from others by sending interesting and funny videos, texts …
    all day long because I cannot stand being by myself. And apart from that I should mention that I am hard to myself as an “ex perfectionist” … so I guess I have a loud inner critic…

    I wish it would be enough for me to only do this with myself, to be ok with nothing going on 99% of the time, to be humble and happy that I am healthy and gifted with so much …. but I don’t know how to learn it.

    I know journaling helps. But it bores me. I tried it for weeks and also I don’t have the patience because my thoughts are faster.

    Then I tried AI voice to text. This was better but my free trial ended and also it felt like cheating because I didn’t write I down. Maybe it is worth the money? I wonder if this would help to articulate all feelings and thoughts until I have nothing to share with others.
    But then who is responding me?

    I know meditation helps but it doesn’t feel productive and I’d rather stimulate myself with things I read or learn ….

    And I don’t want this headline to be “how to accept the way I am”. I want to feel good when I am with a talented interested guy who knows a lot and has a lot of interest…

    By the way I know that my genetics is using my dopamine too fast so I kind of have a lack of dopamine and I try to take supplements but it doesn’t help because it is my mind that is the “problem”

    by Flashy-Travel1109

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