October 2024
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    Hi guys, I lost my mother this year to covid while she was traveling. I didn't get to say goodbye and she passed away in just 2 weeks after decades of keeping healthy and being active.

    I'm struggling to find a book that I could resonate with. We didn't get to see her buried – we were 10 hours away by flight. She doesn't have a grave I can visit nor did I get to say goodbye to her.

    Are there book recommendations that could somehow help me reconcile all my feelings and accept the grief? We had a complicated relationship but she loved her children, that I know, and I wish I could turn all these guilts away. I am not even 30 yet and was just stabilising my life, perhaps a book that addresses complicated relationships in the grief as well…

    Rest in peace, mama.

    by bosstapir

    4 Comments

    1. SlightTreacle9132 on

      I’m so sorry for your loss. Definitely recommend Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner, it’s a memoir about losing her mother to cancer and I think it’s a beautiful exploration of complex mother/daughter relationships and grief.

    2. I’m so sorry.

      I don’t have a book suggestion but there are local support groups for Sudden Traumatic Loss. I found one in Seattle when I lost my mom in 2019. Sometimes hospice runs these (your person didn’t have to pass in hospice, the groups are open to anyone), and in my case, it was one of the local health systems that ran the group. They kept the group small. It’s facilitated and it was 8 weeks. It follows a program to help people process such traumatic loss.

    3. Ugh-screen-name on

      We just had a sudden death from asthma. 
      If you are ok with a book written by a person of christian faith, i was really helped by “Lament for a Son” by Nicholas Wolterstorff.  His 25 year old son died in mountain climbing accident. His ups and downs and observations are still helping me process.

      May your mother rest in peace and may you find comfort in your grief.

    4. AlaskaBlue19 on

      I don’t have any book recommendations for this. But I want to extend my deepest condolences. My grandpa passed from covid in 2020, and I also didn’t get to say goodbye. It’s so hard, and I’m so sorry.

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