Searching for a novel about Depression, sort of.

Hey guys,

i am in search of a novel that has a maincharacter that seems like he has a ordinary life, nothing to tragic happened that was obvious. But still showing his "twisted" perception and mindset.

The Character is unhappy but. But he does nothing to change his situation because its harder than doing nothing.

But he gets motivation somewhere and starts doing something, its very hard and while seemingly everything gets better he feels even worse than before because he is overwhelmed, sort of. And even feels like doinf the unspeakable is his way out. The character is torn apart, he know he should be happy since everything works out great but he just doesnt feel happy at, quite the contrary.

Thats roughly the idea i have in mind. The important thing is to show that doing nothing in a bad situation is still easier than working on it to make it better.

The ending doesnt have to be a happy end tho the type of story makes it favourable. Setting doesnt matter, it can be a novel or biography.

I want the book to also show how twisted the feeling of the character are, that he knows its not right but his mind is telling him something different than his heart.

It should show how clouded his way of thought was.

The best ending i guess would be something where he is basically at a similar position as in the start, but he is now ready to live due to his new mindset.

Many people bottle up and tell themself they have to make it work alone, or that they dont want to scare away other by opening thenself to them. It could show that its ok to get help and show feelings.

And that you maybe have to leave stuff behind you seemingly like because its bad for you.