As the title probably suggests, I’m in my teens and have rather too much ideas what to do with my life. I really love experiencing stuff, so one day you’ll find me playing piano in a jazz club, and one day you’ll find me just wandering in a really random rural area in Korea with no particular place to go. I don’t see my unpredictability too bad, because for now it’s one of my mottos, to do what my heart says or whatever.
But if I look back, I think I used to be a heavily rule-driven person, with a lot of objectives in life that I believed I needed to ‘achieve’ a fruitful life. I gradually fell of with those rules and came to this state I’m in, with a few yet very limited set of long-term achievements, and just a much lighter mindset viewing life. So there is still a part of me who thinks back and asks myself, ’why did I do the thing I’ve just done’, or like ‘what do I really want to do’ and stuff(and people around me can’t stop asking these sort of questions either). And what confuses me is, that while it would be convenient to say ‘I just live in the moment and nothing more’, I don’t think that’s the comprehensive explanation of my behavior because I also seem to have conserved some values, like love towards my beloved ones or my passion towards music(I love composing music), and this idea that it would be great to make a world a better place(I’m working on my way to medical school) and such. So it seems like I’m sometimes a really goal-driven person, while sometimes I just do what I feel at the moment(not particularly sure if the two are incompatible at the first place, but anyways), and I have this need to understand myself better. I would love some book suggestions that would help me in my situation, and I would love if I could listen to your own anecdotes as well, because I think having someone to relate to would help me a lot emotionally. Doesn’t have to be a book, any advices would be thoroughly appreciated. Thanks a lot in advance!!
by ruudgullit10