I just read Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin and holy shit

It's a book from the 50s about an American man who moves to Paris and has a love affair with another man named Giovanni. From the beginning, you know that the story will end in tragedy, but the book is about how that plays out and the forces that leads to it. I honestly wasn't really expecting to like it that much- I don't normally read older books, and I especially avoid classics because I kind of assume I'll be let down because surely they can't live up to their hype. But as soon as I started reading, I was hooked and finished it in just a day.

It has this really emotional, gripping writing style that sucked me in. It ties together things we think of as opposites- hatred and love, joy and tragedy, beauty and ugliness- and shows that they are in fact inseparable. There's so many lines that just punched me in the gut and astounded me at how relatable and profound it was.

I thought the main character's arc was so fascinating. It's slowly revealed how empty of a person he is. He's so alienated and aimless, with no real passions or goals. He's terrified of his own sexuality, he wants freedom but he abhors it at the same time, he wants to be able to go home but he doesn't want to go home. He regrets his mistakes yet can't help but repeat them. He resents all the older men in his life (his father, Jacques, Guillame) and yet knows he will either die young or become one of them. He doesn't really love people, he just wants to fill the hole inside of him. I think this is supposed to be a commentary on youth in general, which is still very salient today.

The backdrop of Giovanni's room itself had a claustrophobic feeling, with Giovanni's constant and fruitless renovation projects symbolizing failed hopes and lack of direction. I also think the uncleanliness of the room is linked to David's feeling of his own sexuality being unclean. The tension between dirtiness and cleanliness is a constant motif. There's some generally very fascinating commentary on queerness, repression, intimacy, class, etc that I could write several papers on (if I had the time and energy). Would definitely love to hear other people's thoughts on this. And if you haven't read the book I'd highly recommend it.