Hey,
I’ve been trying to understand Feminism and Feminist positions for a bit now, and i still don’t get it. Or rather, i don’t get how it is pro equality (as is usually said) and should also be supported by Men. As a Man, the literature i’ve read so far has been very dehumanizing towards Men. However people in my Life keep telling me that Feminism is just pro-equality, so i’d like to have a Book that explains Feminism, but is also Pro-equality and treats Men as actual human beings.
by new_user_bc_i_forgot
12 Comments
>the literature i’ve read so far has been very dehumanizing towards Men
What literature are you speaking of?
Try reading bell hooks’s *Feminism is for Everybody.*
One random note is that feminism isn’t “pro equality”, it’s pro liberation. These are very different things but you’ll figure it out as you read more.
If you think feminism is dehumanizing towards men, though, you’re being overly defensive and not going to get very far. You need to open your mind a little more.
I read ‘The Will to Change’ by Bell Hooks a couple years ago after my son was born and it really drove home some things my wife and I had discussions about in the past. I feel like her writing in that book in particular (as it’s the only one I’ve read so far) was very feminist but in a way that says we are all equal and should treat each other accordingly.
As shocking as this may seem, men can be feminists, too. From a fiction standpoint, I recommend Lessons in Chemistry. The level of feminism is anachronistic (21st Century views in a 1950s world), but the point gets made. This is what it is like to be a woman in a male-dominated field, even in 2024. The men in this book are portrayed generally well unless they’re the problem. You’re basically given a view of feminist male vs sexist male.
simone de beauvoir – the second sex
Honestly I would suggest reading papers from prominent feminists rather than a narrative book as they tend to be either more extremist and for some people this can paint a negative picture of feminism. Just like in all media, what gets the most attention tends to be the more extreme sides so for learning about feminism I would recommend actually reading papers. (I know this is r/suggestmeabook but that’s my opinion)
Raising Our Hands by Jenna Arnold. Not the intent of the book, per se, but deeply woven into its message.
Anything by bell hooks! Feminism Is For Everybody is probably her most relevant title.
Hood Feminism is great for looking at inclusive feminism. I’d also recommend Know my Name by Chanel Miller. Sometimes seeing an experience that is a reason for the importance of feminism can help you understand it in your own way.
Philosophical Trends in the Feminist Movement by Anuradha Ghandy
It sounds you want a book that advocates equality of the sexes without describing how men have subjugated women (and continue to do so), because that feels like being blamed for something you didn’t do.
The thing is, you can’t “explain feminism” without talking about how women are repressed by a power structure that favours men. It’s the whole reason it exists. It would be like talking about food safety regulations without mentioning food poisoning.
Writers can be clear that it’s not every individual man who’s responsible for this – but even if they don’t, as a reader you should be thinking the same way. “Men commit the overwhelming number of murders and violent assaults” is a plain fact. It doesn’t mean you personally are responsible for that, but it does mean that, for example, a woman might have reasonable concerns for her safety in your presence in certain circumstances, and part of being a good person is allowing for that without taking it as an unjustified personal slight.
If you just want to read a book that puts men and women on an equal footing, read utopian fiction. Some feminist science fiction will be rewarding. *The Left Hand of Darkness* is a great exploration of gender equality that doesn’t talk about the crimes of “men” – but that’s because it’s set on a very different planet.
Feminism is about women and women only. It isn’t supposed to serve men. It’s supposed to help and liberate women.