Hi! I’m not a parent, but have a longstanding special interest in parenting theory and how-tos.
One thing that I’ve observed is that parenting books seem to take 1 of 3 positions: 1) children are inherently selfish and even manipulative, either for “evolutionary” reasons, or because their innate nature is entirely sinful; 2) children are inherently innocent and good inside, and bad behavior is merely the expression of a need or valid feeling, or 3) no thoughts at all on children’s inner world, with behavior modification being the sole goal.
My own worldview (and my memories of my childhood) don’t seem to mesh with any of these perspectives — they all strike me as quite deterministic, and diminish children’s free will (from a Christian perspective I might say I believe in both total depravity and common grace; in simpler terms I might say I believe humans have both inbuilt good and inbuilt evil, as well at least some ability to make choices). I’m wondering if there’s any parenting books out there that take more of this perspective — that don’t eliminate the moral dimension of a child’s world, but also don’t say it’s either all good or all bad in there?
by northern_frog