After seeing several recommendations for Octavia E. Butler’s books on various subs, I decided to check out the “Parable” series, which was highly recommended. The first Parable book was all checked out, so I got a copy of “Fledgling” from my library, and I’ve been noticing a writing trend that’s really off-putting. She repeats herself pretty consistently in a really weird way. Here’s an example of what I mean:
“I wondered what work was done in *libraries*, then knew. I had been in *libraries*. I had memories of rooms filled with *books*. Theodora worked with *books*, and with people who used *books*.”
It seems like every couple of lines that she does this. Earlier in the book it happens a lot right after Renee comes to in the cave. It’s super frustrating to read this choppy writing style. It’s almost like watching one of those cartoons for toddlers where the characters prompt kids to find stuff on the screen, like Blues Clues or Dora. What’s with the constant repetitive wording? And does it go on like this for the entire book? Is this just Butler’s writing style? I see people lauding her books a lot (almost always the Parable series) but if this is how they all read, I don’t understand why.
More examples:
“Was I *blind*? I lay in the dark, trembling. What if I were *blind*?”
“As I walked, it suddenly occurred to me that my feet were *bare*. I was walking carefully, not stepping on anything that would hurt me, but I could see and understand now that my feet, and legs, were *bare*. I knew I should have shoes on. In fact, I knew I should be dressed. But I was *bare* all over.”
“My skin was *scarred*, badly *scarred*, over every part of my body that I could see. The *scars* were broad, creased, shiny patches of mottled red-brown skin. Had I always been *scarred*? Was my *face* *scarred*? I touched one of the broad *scars* across my abdomen, then touched my *face*. It felt the same. My *face* might be *scarred*. I wondered how I looked. I felt my *head* and discovered that I had almost no *hair*. I had touched my *head* expecting *hair*. There should have been *hair*, but I was bald, except for a small patch of *hair* on the back of my *head*, and higher up on my *head*…”
Out of about 110 words in that last passage, 18 of them are scarred (or scars), face, head, and hair. I’m really interested in this book, and I have others by Butler on my TBR list, and I hope the style doesn’t stay like this.
I wrote the above portion a few days ago and posted it in this sub, but it got removed for lack of sub-karma. I’ve since finished the book and have some more thoughts on it.
From later in the book:
“Two in Romania, and one in *England*. I met your mothers in *England*. They had young children, and two of them were pregnant when they reached *England*.”
So the writing style with the repetition does continue. At first I thought I could attribute it to Shori’s amnesia and working things out in her mind, but then the other characters started talking this way, too.
Speaking of the other characters talking, aside from Wright, they’re pretty much all cardboard. Wright is the only one who seems to have any time invested into him. And it’s largely based on his semi-sexual, semi-addiction relationship with Shori.
By the way, it’s hard to get passed the whole sexualization of what appears to be an 11 year old girl. Sure, she’s 53, but the book is written with her looking 11 and some of the sex happens before you find out she’s 53. It’s creepy.
On top of that, her symbionts are basically slaves to her, both physically addicted to her saliva and psychologically unable to refuse her in any way. In a book that revolves around a protagonist fighting for her own agency, she surely does a lot to take that away from others. Butler tries to make this all ok by showing that their regular lives are going nowhere, but that make the fact that they’re all made Shori’s slaves against their wills.
Overall, I was disappointed in this book. The themes were kinda messed up and the plot was fairly generic. The dialogue was awful- think: the extremely cringey discussion between Shori and Daniel about mating, or the constant use of “like” in discussions about significant life changes. All of that combined with the really choppy, repetitive writing style (it was like a 10th grader trying to meet a minimum word requirement) made this book unbearable. Seriously, by the end of it I couldn’t wait to never hear the words “Ina” and “symbionts” ever again. My hold for “Parable of the Sower” just became available, and I really hope this book is better.
by Intermittent_Name