*Spoiler alert ahead*
I recently read A Little Life, and on reflection I did it very naively. As someone who has experienced trauma, I thought from the synopsis (realising I must have misread it) that this would be a cathartic book that would perhaps help me process some of it.
I think I naively thought it would be about someone learning to love and deal with that trauma (god help me!) The book is just so triggering and ultimately depressing, I just cannot believe that someone who has an understanding of trauma wrote it. While there were many parts to the book that I agreed with, such as how as a society we are ill-equipped to deal with people who have dealt with abuse – and can indeed make them feel like pariahs, I feel like this book has actually made me more self conscious about talking about the abuse I’ve suffered with other people!
Also that the ending seems to lead towards the inevitable thesis, as others have suggested, that some people’s trauma is so great they will inevitably commit suicide – I can only say this has put me in a state of mind I haven’t been in for a long time!
I am a realist, and while I appreciate it is so important to highlight the extreme experiences people go through – to do so without care I think is just wrong. I am going to have to re enter therapy to discuss the emotions the book has brought up, after feeling like I was in a healthy place – I don’t see how that can be a positive/responsible outcome for a book that seems to want to advocate for people who’ve been through trauma.
Also, as others have said – Jude is such an unrealistic character. I have suffered nowhere near the same level of abuse that he has, but I have struggled with education and work because of it. To portray someone as magically able to compartmentalise their extreme trauma to the point where they can be extremely successful, albeit with self harm as a coping mechanism, is just so unrealistic.
I’m sure there are people it has helped, and maybe I am just bitter it was not the book I thought it was going to be – but my god I cannot be the only person who has come away feeling extremely vulnerable after reading this book.
by odyssey5878