In a lot of progressive spaces, we’re having some very positive discussions about men opting out of expectations set by patriarchal society. People are talking about how it’s ok for men and boys, to loving, to cry, to not have to live up to all the things they’ve been told they had to do. That’s great and all to see that outward progress but I do wonder if it is working. Yes we say all these things, but my male friends have still yet to shed a single tear in front of me. Gone Girl is quite a scary look at what is at stake if we continue to adhere to the rigid mental frame works of traditional masculinity.
Nick is frozen emotionally from the time the book starts to when it ends because he cannot wrest his ideas of what it means to be a man from societal expectations of manhood and what he was taught by his abusive Father. Had he found the emotional wherewithal to not be so emotionally absent from his marriage, or just been mature enough to ask for a divorce, the whole disastrous events of the novel could have been avoided. Instead, he assumes the role of provider for Amy and his mother to make himself feel important. Instead of having a frank discussion with his wife about their failing marriage, he instead, he preys on one of his innocent students to reassure himself that he’s still this sexually desirable man.
When he clues into Amy’s plot, his rallying cry is his father’s infamous hateful epithet -”Stupid bitch”. That hate for women begins to spill outwards as he physically accosts Andie, and slowly begins to lose patience with Go and Rhonda, the only two women who have any interest in proving him innocent. How fitting isn’t it that the book ends with Nick being confined for the rest of his life in an abusive marriage to protect his child? The reward for sticking so ardently to the idea of being what a man should be is spending the rest of his miserable life as ‘the doting Father and loving husband’.
It’s not good enough to be a ‘good man’, if you cannot forge an identity that is liberated from the more corrosive elements of traditional masculinity, you are doomed to a truly unhappy existence.
by SawkyScribe
8 Comments
>but my male friends have still yet to shed a single tear in front of me.
….is that seriously something you expect men to do?
That is quite a leap from reality.
Ummm wtf 😳
You’ve made me want to read this book but in terms of a critique, you lost me at ‘patriarchal society’. C+
Ah to be young.
What on earth are you talking about. A lot of prople are quiet shells in their marriages when the loud dominant party disregards them and they slowly fall into that role. In has nothing to do with him being a man
Wow, that’s a load of tripe. Everything is so clear, and everything is black and white when you’re young. As you get older you see more gray, more middle ground and everything isn’t quite as reactionary
This is a weirdly hostile comment section. OP that is certainly a valid take on the book, there’s no right or wrong way to read or critique a story. Sorry that everyone’s acting insane.