what would you recommend to me based on myself? (VERY long, please bear with me)

(i like horror and thriller but open to anything)

I’m incredibly rigid, always following the rules without even considering breaking them, even when opportunities present themselves. I’m quite a follower by nature, it seems absurd and terrifying to breach the rules.

I’ve observed that I tend to have a strong opinion and think a lot more than most people. However, when I
express my ideas to them, they dismiss it as impractical and claim I’m missing the point (even though I considered it thoughtfully and just want to further the idea).

I try to get different perspectives to ensure my actions aren’t wrong or immoral. After considering their input, I’ll form my own opinions and stick to them. I refuse to agree with the opinions of others, preferring to stay true to myself instead. But when someone has a more reasonable stance and moral than me, I’m willing to accept their point of view and alter my own. I won’t change unless it goes against the ethical rules.

When breaking the rules, I first consider whether the situation is truly safe. My brain has already planned my escape route or alibi, just in case. I must be prepared and anticipate every possible scenario to come out of it unscathed.

I don’t know how to stay focused on my studies when I’m at home, so I always procrastinate. That’s why I need to go to school. There, I’ll have more pressure and guidance to help me study more efficiently.

When I try to do something, I always check it over repeatedly to make sure it’s perfect. This is because I’m quite a perfectionist, but also a lazy person. I have to keep everything organized and neat. Unfortunately, I’ll get tired if I think about it too much, and in the end, I might just stop trying altogether.

I have too much going on in my life to focus on unimportant conversations. I don’t like wasting my time—I only have so much of it. I’d rather dedicate that time to the things that matter to me, like my hobbies and priorities, which help me relieve stress. Talking about things that aren’t important takes away my energy and attention.

I find it beautiful when no one is speaking, yet we perfectly understand one another without questioning it. There’s a special magic in sharing our thoughts and feelings in this way, without needing to ask any questions or clarify any misunderstandings.

Some people think I don’t enjoy socializing or talking to new people, but they’re wrong. I actually love getting to know new people, but it’s easy for me to feel overwhelmed. So, I need some alone time to recharge and reset before engaging in more social interactions. It’s about finding the right balance so I don’t feel exhausted, while still having the time and energy to meet new people and connect with them.

I can accept reality, but I daydream quite often. I watch my language carefully and waterdown my opinions, so that I don’t offend anyone. I make sure I’m being polite. I can be very nurturing and supportive towards others, but only if they let me (since I’m scared they’ll think I’m weird). Countless people have said I reminded them of their mothers. One even became obsessed with me to the point of stalking (not exaggerating).

I read, I write poetry, stories, keep a journal, and have a talent for art. I use clues to predict what’s likely to occur. I combine different information to draw conclusions. I can tell when someone is lying. I notice when someone is sad or uncomfortable and care for them. Everybody wonders how I know things and it’s because I keep mental notes on everything. I’m the carer among my friends and sincerely enjoy taking on that role.

I’ve developed a subconscious mechanism in my brain (not quite sure what to call it). Whenever someone raises their voice at me or displays obvious signs of displeasure in their facial expression towards me, the following thoughts immediately come to my mind: stop everything you’re doing. stop smiling. keep your composure. hurry up and turn around. don’t even think of being friendly to them ever again. (though I won’t make a point of becoming their enemy. Instead, I’ll gradually slip out of their life and disappear. Silent treatment is not my thing.)

Setting firm boundaries is crucial to me. I will not hesitate to tell you once you’ve violated my limits. I am comfortable asserting myself and saying “no” when necessary. I stay inside my comfort zone. Still, I’m cautious about my own words and innotation in order to avoid hurting their feelings. (though my approach does change based on how much I care for the person. If I think they’re a jerk, then I’ll resort to a much more ruthless approach.)

I don’t let myself become desperate for another’s attention. If you want to leave me, you may, and my apologies for anything it may have caused. I don’t have a tendency to obsess over other people; I find that idea pathetic.

I’ll act cold and detached towards people who dislike me, but I’ll lose it and cry endlessly when I’m behind closed doors. I’m very emotional and sensitive, but there’s one rule I have: I can only cry for one day before letting it all go.

by yyuna-