I am a 15 year old boy yet I have the mental age of 12. I am very quiet, not naughty, and act quite mature yet simple things I cannot do. While my friends are with their girlfriends, having sex, drinking alcohol, doing wild shit that most teens do, and hanging out with friends, I can barely even speak to people, have very low self-confidence, constantly yearning for human accompaniment, and cuddle my stuffed toys during slumber. I know we all have our own timeline and I shouldn’t rush things, but god, I feel so awful. What have I done to deserve this. During lunchtime at school, I read a book at the library instead of joking around with friends cuz ion even have anyone to sit with. My friends, which I all met during the last months of 2023, I chat through online and I can only see two of them irl. I just want to experience and feel the way teen boys do cuz honestly I resonate more with girls and have only started being friends with guys recently, tbh I thought I would hate it but I kinda prefer guys as friends than girls. Also my interests are ones that isn’t male dominated and I am quite bad at sports and video games. It doesn’t help that people treat me like a baby, teachers give me special treatment (they think that im a nice, quiet, and smart kid), peers (they talk to me as if I’m an infant), and family members (who treat me like a prince). I might be a late bloomer and that fact bothers me so much. The fact that I might not even experience having a gf in my teen years is so frustrating, but then again that might just be my mind telling me so and that the actual result might be better than expected cuz I am a pessimist (thought I wouldn’t have any friends at all until I met my friends who feel like brothers to me and I cried cause I thought that I wont get into the honor roll when in actuality 90 is my lowest grade). My appearance is not the problem. I get compliments now and then, from my fashion to face, even from guys lol. Since I read often I am looking for books that is best suited for me, one that can make me feel better. I’m looking for a book since I finished Kim Jiyoung Born 1982. Also recently read Kafka on the Shore. Also important to note that im asian, living in asia.
by downfor_you-isup