im 17 if that matters, and i know that opinions are subjective, i know that the only opinion that matters is my own, but for some dumb reason i just can’t, every time i hear someone saying a book or a game i like is bad, or something like that, im sucked into this rabbit hole of going through dozens and dozens of threads to find people that like the stuff i like as much as i do until i feel satisfied, and of course there’s no way im ever satisfyed, so i need a book that can help me stop doing that, because its a waste of time every time and usually just makes me feel worse
by lucasellendersen
3 Comments
The art of not giving a f*** maybe? Generic suggestion, but I actually kinda have liked it.
(I used to do this *exact* same thing, by the way)
Hmm… I don’t know a book about it, but one of the things I tell myself it’s that This Thing is Not ME. I can love a thing, but it is not *my identity*. I follow that with: not all people are for me, I’m not meant to like everyone and everyone is not required to like me. If that person doesn’t like this thing and it’s very important to me, then maybe they aren’t one of my people?
I think a lot of the things that we care that deeply about are things that resonate with some part of who we are or what we long for. So it feels like if someone doesn’t like the thing I deeply resonate with, then they are really trash talking me. But they aren’t. And if they *are* trash talking a place where I overlap with the thing then they aren’t my people.
You say you go looking to find that some people do like the thing you love, do you feel like that’s because of insecurity? Wanting to know you are still worthy of love and it’s ok for you to lie what you like?
I can’t think of a book but if it makes you feel better, just know that you won’t always feel this way. Over the years you will care less and less and it will become more liberating. This is not a permanent situation. It’s temporary. Just hang in there. It will get better. When I was in college, I finally said to myself “I’m really sick of not liking myself, and I can’t get away from myself, so I have to figure this out.” So I just started letting myself be human and not doubting myself so much and eventually I really did end up liking myself. So please hang in there. Things do get better. You are just fine the way you are and you are just fine liking the things that you like.