Wow! I am glad I’ve found this subreddit!
I’m looking for a **book recommendation like I’m looking for a cure in the pharmacist**. So I’m gonna describe the symptoms and trust your suggestions.
**Symptoms**: I’m in love with my first boyfriend, in a 10-year old relationship. There’s never been anyone else before. Recently I fell in love with this other guy, a friend of mine. He’s not better than current boyfriend (so I don’t really want him), but he’s a good man I want in my life (losing his friendship would break me).
But later, I went a bit obsessed for him **just because** I can’t have him. And although everyone tells me s* x is overrated, I have never had any bad experience nor can’t compare between partners, so I can’t get the idea out of my mind. I want him. Maybe I just want to f*** differently for once.
**Medicine needed**: I need to read something I feel identified with, that resonates within, that brings me some **peace of heart or mind**. Deep, but not cheesy. Does not need to be a romantic novel.
Something about sticking to the good and simple things in life, about idealizing (anything, not necessarily love or s*x). Maybe something about selfishness and wanting what you can’t have, or about wanting all the options. **About all the possibilities and alternate universes.**
I just need to work this out and books are gonna be my therapy. So **thank you in advance**!!
by Agilmar8
1 Comment
Two very different recommendations:
Firstly, it may be worth looking into whether you’re polyamorous; it’s common to have romantic feelings for more than one person, but because there’s such a social taboo about it, many people are reluctant to acknowledge or communicate those feelings (being honest about your predicament on here is a great first step!). A lot of people cite [‘More Than Two’](https://www.waterstones.com/book/more-than-two/eve-rickert/franklin-veaux/9780991399703) by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert as helpful in exploring their non-monogamous feelings. Whether you ultimately decide an open relationship would suit you and your partner, or whether you want to just keep any external feelings as fantasy, it’s worth thinking about 🙂
For something fictional, [‘A Pair of Blue Eyes’](https://www.waterstones.com/book/a-pair-of-blue-eyes/thomas-hardy/cedric-watts/9781853262777) by Thomas Hardy might resonate with you. The story follows Elfride, a young woman who falls in love with the steadfast Stephen and the charismatic Henry; it’s thought to have been inspired by Hardy’s own dilemma of whether to pursue the “safe” path of being an architect or following his passion to become a writer.