I have mental health issues, and so does my mom. She and I are very close and she was a wonderful parent in many ways, but one thing she did that wasn’t so good was to use me to comfort herself sometimes when she was struggling – for example I remember her bringing me along for her mammograms and crying on my shoulder in the waiting room about how her mother’s death from ovarian cancer and how scared she was of getting cancer. I remember feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and I didn’t feel like I could deal with how scared she was making me about cancer (both her getting it and me getting it) because she needed my comfort. I have discussed this with my mom as an adult, BTW, and she’s willing to acknowledge that she made mistakes, so we’re doing alright.
Anyway, I have a daughter now (she’s 20 months old) and I plan on being a lot more careful to make sure she’s not ever expected to help me cope with my mental health issues. One thing that I was thinking might be helpful is to give her a children’s book that talks about parental mental health issues and makes it clear that it’s not something that kids should be expected to fix, or to sacrifice their own needs trying to help their parent.
Do you guys have any suggestions?
by Snoo-88741