I’ve seen to many people on TikTok, YouTube, Instagram etc, recommending this kind of books, because they’ve have improved some aspects of their lifestyle thanks to those books, but reading and hearing resumes about the books in question (atomic habits for example” are just thing that everybody know about it, like “make your new habits more interesting or pleasant” and the fact that too many of self help books in resume are just “you have to work hard!” (like everything in life), I don’t think all of those books are trash, I read a little bit of “Stop Overthinking” by Nick Trenton that doesn’t say things everybody know and in fact are very useful to stop overthinking (forgive the redundancy), also “how to win friends and influence people” looks very good, I think the worst example of self help books is “48 laws of power” it’s just a lot of random “””laws””” without sense and that are based in random history anecdotes without all of the historic context.
But that’s all of my experience, how was yours?, did these kind of books have helped you?
by ChampignonsVeneneux
9 Comments
Not much. Honestly? No
They’re a great way for the authors to make money off gullible people.
I’m a retired Health and Life Coach and I have mixed feelings about self-help books. Tons are just trash, they are marketing props so a Coach or other professional can put “published author” in their bio.
I do think some are very useful, but I don’t think most people use them the way they are intended. Most contain writing prompts and other types of exercises and not enough people do the work. Many people just pause and reflect, but the actual writing, planning out, and doing the daily reminders etc are the effective parts of the book.
It is also highly effective to have an accountability partner. This doesn’t have to be someone you pay, this can be a friend who is also working on a goal that you check in regularly with each other and call each other out when you don’t do what you say you’re going to do.
People also seem annoyed by how repetitive these types of books are and all of the stories in them. These are effective ways to reach a wider audience. People are motivated by different things, some need research, some need emotion, some need to feel a part of a community, and some need to see the greater good. These books try to reach as many different motivations as possible. This is also why I needed a partner to write content, I’m a bullet point, research person and I struggled to reach any of the other personality types for years on social media.
They tend to be exceedingly low quality – many (most?) appear to me to be reputational props for self-styled lifestyle gurus. They tend to use a lot of categorical language, to massively oversimplify complex psychological phenomena, and to use anxiety about “normalcy” to sell. I think, on the whole, they tend to be actively harmful where they aren’t risibly idiotic. Avoid.
Mostly BS, sometimes helpful, but the content is so basic, you would have reached the same conclusions if you had spent literally 5 seconds reflecting about the topic. For me personally, the most psychological help comes from novels.
There’s one that I’ve listened to a few times and it is somewhat helpful (atomic habits). That being said, most of them are pretty basic info at best, which turns into repetitive fluff to sell the author’s courses, consultancy, conferences or other BS. Once you’ve read a few, you’ve read them all. I’ve also noticed that the ones written by white men are super biased and totally ignore a lot of issues that affect women and POC. So the advice in them is not always relevant, realistic, or helpful. I find the spectrum to range from useless fluff to outright dangerous delusional cult of personality type stuff.
I listen to a few as audiobooks and found that the majority were 75% describing what the issue is (anxiety, adhd etc) 15% the authors experience and then rest is the actual ‘help’.
The help differs in quality – one book’s help was almost less than a paragraph to read. With the rest waffle.
Found one decent one on stoicism
I got this book shaming when I was in uni years ago. Because that kinda motivational books (and event) considered useless. I was influenced back then, moreover, self-help books werent the books I need at that time. And the recent years the genre has been so hype, I gave it a try, I read 3 books (only) and turns out self help genre is not my thing. Maybe I just didnt meet the right one for me yet, but giving a try 3 times is enough I guess haha. Yet, I dont bookshame any genre honestly. The right book is for the right person🤍🤍
And fictional books have given big influences into my life, so yeah✨
Red flags for me. Especially things like Robert Greene and Jordan Peterson, I just assume you’re a probably conservative manosphere type dude. I empathise with people who feel like they need this kind of thing, but I’d say that 99% of your problems will melt away if you just get a social hobby where there is a structured expectation that you’ll converse with people.
These books will sell you on a lot of problems you don’t have, and once you start imagining that you do have these problems, you’ll literally begin to manifest them in your life by reading way too much into what others say or don’t say to you. The worst ones will shift problems onto entire other groups, like women or men who are further down the greek alphabet, and from there it’s one tippytoe away from a pipeline that will make those imagined problems very real because now you’re repulsive.
Sorry if I sound harsh, I’ve lost good male friends to this shit more than once and have very little patience left for it.