She literally says it to my face so many times.
I showed her my bookshelf and =she went on a tangent about how much care I give to my books and she doesn’t take care of the books that she reads (which I knew based on the books i’ve lent her previously and I’ve received them back and felt such rage while she doesn’t even apologise).
She went into detail about how she just leaves books on the floor, puts her plates and mugs on top of the books, will leave them around when she is out and was running her hand across all of my books on her bookshelf while I was having a silent panic attack.
This made me so angry, do you think I’m over-reacting?
Why would she just **ADMIT** that while staring at MY bookshelf of books and running her ***inconsiderate hands on them*** as she is saying these things., thinking that I am not going to get angry about it.
by Classic_Bass_2695
6 Comments
No, you’re in the right here. It’s fine if you don’t take care of your *own* books, but it’s an asshole move to not take care of books that other people have loaned you (really anything that people have loaned you).
Trashing other peoples books is wrong. But there is nothing wrong with trashing your own books. Speaking about trashing books in the presence of your personal collection shouldn’t drive you into a panic. Just don’t lend her books anymore.
I mean… they are just books after all.
Unless it’s some ancient text worth thousands of dollars, I don’t think it’s worth getting actually angry about.
Maybe tell her how you feel about it? If she is blatantly rude about it then I wouldn’t talk to that person at all, let alone lend books to her.
Honestly don’t think she is doing it on purpose, sometimes people really just lack self-awareness.
Have you spoken to her the times she’s returned books in poorer states than were lended to her? She just may not be self aware enough to connect the two.
I think it’s very inconsiderate to treat something that has been lended or gifted to you without care and respect but others don’t share this value. I think there’s nothing bad with no longer sharing books if it is causing you this much distress. Perhaps you may consider speaking with her directly about this if she asks to borrow a book in the future?
you have a right to take care of your own possessions. so its not bad to stop lending her books.
you have a right to be irritated if you feel like she’s trying to send some kind of message and not being direct about what it is.
idk about the level of your anger though. sounds like some boundaries would be good for your friendship in the long run.