Hey,
I’ve trained myself over the years to become somewhat of a neurotic person. I have a very hard time relaxing and am basically constantly looking for the next thing to do to help me live life in a good way.
But in doing this, I’ve realized I’ve kind of forgotten how to relax and just live life and the moments without any attachment to progress, being better, doing things right, etc.
I’m looking for a book that basically shits on the values of “be super goal oriented! success is everything! win win win!” and instead promotes a value of relaxation, calmness, being present, and accepting moments without feeling a compulsion for self-improvement.
Ideally not something so esoteric where I’d essentially need to adopt a radical world-view or religious belief to get on board with what they’re saying. I’d prefer something less spiritual/new-age-y and more down to earth.
Thank you!
by Khajiit_Boner
4 Comments
Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance
Narcissus and Goldmund by Hermann Hesse
Sounds like you might benefit from guidance of a mental health professional more than a yes-man self-help. You state that constantly looking for the next thing to help you live life in a good way has led to losing touch with how to relax. You asking for a book on how to do this is ironic because it’s looking for that next thing to live life in a good way.
If you truly want to just learn it yourself, I highly recommend l looking into DBT and mindfulness. There are workbooks and plenty of general self-help books/articles regarding (it and CBT are rly popular therapies). It takes the good parts of grounding and introspection while teaching radical acceptance and skills that can build stress tolerance. What you described is familiar behavior from anxiety and oc tendencies for control. The irony is not going unnoticed, and I feel its important to at least inform you.
I truly believe youd benefit more looking into talking to a professional that specializes in the therapy type that will help you the most, than a basic book about chillness.
Neuroticism can be debilitating if ignored.
The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking –Oliver Burkeman
The Comfort Crisis –Michael Easter
Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence –Anna Lembke
The Hacking of the American Mind –Robert Lustig