Apparently we’re not supposed to do “worst of” lists anymore, but here’s mine anyway! These are books I read in 2023, not many were actually published in that year.
20. Cold Justice by Jonnie Jacobs – It’s biggest crime is being really dull. Very standard police procedural with old-hat plot.
19. One Of Us by Kylie Kaden – Your typical Liane Moriarty knock-off. Secrets in the suburbs, etc, with two insipid main characters.
18. Black Water by Jefferson Parker – We follow a detective around as she tries to determine whether a guy killed his wife…but the very first chapter tells us he’s innocent! Very boring, zero surprises.
17. The Reapers by John Connolly – I normally enjoy this author, but this was bad. Eight pages to describe an apartment and none of the book is set there? Five page histories of buildings? Life stories for a character introduced in one chapter but killed off in the next? Some okay action bits if you can make it through the first 200 pages.
16. The End Of Her by Shari Lapena – Another author I usually enjoy. Some woman blackmails about five different people and none of them go to the police, and give the stupid, flimsiest reasons for it. The only plot twists are when characters act completely out of character.
15. Just The Nicest Couple by Mary Kubica – Another book with two insipid main characters. One won’t shut up about how her whole life revolves around her missing husband. The other is a wet blanket who is completely infantalised by her husband. Only interesting plot development is a daydream.
14. My Husband’s Killer by Laura Marshall – A group of people in their forties are still hung up on what happened when they were 20. Twist unveiling of the killer is a cheap, unfair plot device that you can’t figure out in advance.
13. Gone Tonight by Sarah Pekkanen – A book that wouldn’t even exist if the close mother and daughter protagonists sat down and had the sort of conversation you would expect a close mother and daughter to have. Zero plot twists. The unreliable narrator twist ending is one you can see coming from literally the start of the book.
12. Silence The Whispers by Cait London – Bad even by romantic suspense standards. Can barely even remember what happened.
11. The Summer Party by Rebecca Heath – Woman who spent one summer with a rich family 20 years ago returns to the area, and follows the siblings around like a wounded puppy, practically begging them to be her friend. Utterly painful.
10. Someone Else’s Skin by Sarah Hilary – Woman kills her abusive husband in self-defense. She takes off, and the two detectives flounder around after her, with no reason to do so, because she isn’t under arrest – hasn’t even been cautioned! – and not in any danger. Main detective comes with the ultra tropey traumatic past.
9. Love Is A Racket by John Ridley – Hollywood loser tries to come up with a plot so he can pay off a loan shark. Misogynistic, homophobic and racist, and not fun.
8. The Perk by Mark Gimenez – A Mary Sue lawyer returns to his hometown, runs for a judge, and looks into the disappearance of his friend’s daughter. This main character is utterly perfect. All the women want to bang him, even the lesbian. Navel-gazing, treacly, preachy crap.
7. Good Bad Girl by Alice Feeney – A bunch of unreliable narrators who all know what is going on and why they’re doing what they’re doing. They just don’t bother to tell the reader, seemingly for shits and giggles. When all is said and done, none of their actions make any sense whatsoever.
6. Blood Harvest by Sharon Bolton – This book was 526 pages long and barely anything happened. After the 14th time somebody thought they’d seen something moving in the garden, I was fed up. Get on with it already! The plot is so lackadaisical the villain has to out themselves for no other reason than the book would have been 800 pages long if they hadn’t. Title has zero relevance.
5. Snap by Belinda Bauer – I don’t read adult thrillers to read about a 14 year old protagonist being allowed to join a police inquiry. Go write a Secret Seven book, for pity’s sake! Very plodding, and there’s no motive for the murder, which I tend to think is important in a murder mystery/thriller.
4. Jar Of Hearts by Jennifer Hillier – A piece of human shit is in prison for her role in burying her best friend’s body and not telling her family where it was for 14 years. The friend’s killer was her boyfriend. He became a serial killer and is still loose. She gets out of prison, and some women start showing up dead. The identity of the killer is so absolutely fucking stupid and impossible that it almost feels like a parody of a thriller. Packed full of rape and sleazy teen sex, and an over-focus on the characters as teenagers instead of the present-day mystery. Absolutely awful.
3. Monster In The Closet by Karen Rose – A cast of thousands in a book with no plot. Except for the antagonist, every character is a complete saint and a complete martyr. A chore to read.
2. She Was The Quiet One by Michele Campbell – I don’t read adult thrillers to read about teen drama. That’s all this was. The only mystery is which twin gets killed. The identity of the killer is obvious. Tedious rubbish.
1. Following The Wake by Gemma O’Connor – Perhaps the most pointless, dull and stupid book I’ve ever read (though not necessarily the worst, lol.) Can’t recap the plot, because there wasn’t really one. I was actually angry I wasted my time on this.
What were your worst reads of 2023? Did you read any of these and love them? I’m looking forward to 2024 being a better reading year. Please leave suggestions – as you can see, I lean towards mysteries and thrillers!
by mimsyitonia