After completing War and Peace, I missed Tolstoy while reading other books. So I thought, why not take Death Of Ivan Ilyich. I was saving it for a phase in my life that is kinda spiritual. I asked myself ‘why not now?’
It is a really short story and is full Tolstoy. He gives this vivid description of his world and we feel like we are the ones who built the house for Ivan Ilyich.
I saw myself in those characters, I felt pity for Ivan but I’ve been in his visitors’ and family’s position and I’ve done the things they did. I laughed at myself, I wondered what my fate will be and I cried.
The greatest deception Ivan (and anyone else) has done is to decieve himself. He thought this was the right way to live, to buy a house, to make cheap a copy of higher class people, working hard for more wage and he lived it.
He earned respect of other people, who were living for their own interests as he is for his. But he didn’t look deep inside him. He didn’t see the abyss in him, he didn’t ask himself, why am I alive, what does it mean to be alive and he kept deceiving himself till he is on the verge of death.
Gerasim is a serf, but knows the suffering of a dying man than Ivan’s family or Ivan himself. He isn’t in a pursuit of worldly possessions, he is more aware of life than anyone else in the story.
It was perfect timing for me to read this story, and I think this will be a great eye opener for those who run before earthly matters to stop and reflect for a moment.
I am also aware that this feeling may not last and I still might end up like Ivan, but I want to remind myself again, death is coming, do not betray yourself.
by davidmason007