I often find myself lost and confused in life, feeling melancholic and anxious. I face many situations where I find myself unsure of the path forward (I’ll mention a few at the end if anyone’s interested, to keep the crux brief). I find that talking to others about this leads to confusion, confrontation, and/or conflict, and doesn’t help much (including therapists).
I’m wondering if anybody’s come across some fundamental values that have guided them well, and have provided clarity on how to think and act rather than leaving it to a lot of floundering and trial and error.
This probably lies more in the realm of philosophy and less in the realm of self-help, but I don’t even know where to begin. I would like a text that:
1. Details a *sensible* set of principles still applicable to the modern world
2. Is easy to understand and digest, and is not written in archaic and esoteric language
3. Stands on its own merits, and does not force itself down anyone’s throats
4. Encompasses physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing
5. Teaches you what good **character** is and how to build it
Said text would probably be non-fiction, but if there’s any fiction that is similar I wouldn’t be averse to it.
I know it’s a huge ask, but I would be really grateful if anyone could help me out. Thank you so much!
**Long wall of text incoming, skip if you want**
Situations which currently swirl around in my head:
1. I’m finishing the 12th standard (last year of high school), and I just don’t put in the effort.
Not from any want of ability or support, far from it, but I dwell on its purpose or lack thereof (I don’t feel I’m learning anything, and more importantly, I’m not interested in what I’m having to learn).
But it’s my primary duty as a student to study, and I fear I’m being insincere towards it. Moreover, it’s a hurdle that everyone has had to overcome, a milestone if you will, to progress and grow in life. Many people also maintain that the results of this critical year will have far reaching implications extending to college and beyond. I recognize its importance.
Yet I’m stuck in this indecisive inertia where I continue attending school but do not really study, leading to poor grades and more worries.
2. I’ve developed an interest in drumming over the past couple of years, but am unsure where it will lead me. I seem to enjoy it, but the monetary cost is too large to justify the five minutes or so I spend practicing in spurts each day, with no end goal. I could derive my pleasure from other, cheaper, convenient means.
Still, I really like listening to music and always get motivated whenever I watch drumming-related content. It just doesn’t translate to action though, leading me to question whether it’s alright to proceed in this half-hearted manner. Everything has an opportunity cost.
3. I seem to only make bad decisions whatever I do, so much so that I hesitate to decide on anything now. However, leaving it to others also ends up being a bad decision on my part, leaving me with no dearth of regrets.
by ppcurve
4 Comments
*Existential Physics: A Scientist’s Guide to Life’s Biggest Questions* –Sabine Hossenfelder
>I’m wondering if anybody’s come across some fundamental values that have guided them well, and have provided clarity on how to think and act rather than leaving it to a lot of floundering and trial and error.
I don’t have a book to recommend, but in my own life I have found Buddhism to very helpful, particularly if its ideas are taken as guidelines rather than a rigid structure to be followed. Try not to do unnecessary harm, don’t get too attached to things, recognize that there is a kernel of good in every consciousness, etc.
I’d also like to add, from the perspective of an old person, that much of life and happiness *is* about trial and error, learning from experience rather than words, and examining your own experience to find what feels like “success” or “happiness” to you, particularly when you are young. “Live and learn” is, imo, an excellent, although at times uncomfortable, approach to take.
There is no one right way to be human, I think most people are just sort of stumbling along much more than they would like others to know about. Perhaps you could ease up on yourself a bit and give yourself some space to let life teach you what you need to know. I wish you the best 🙂
{{How to be Perfect}}
{{A Psalm for the Wild Built}}
Meditations- Marcus Aurelius