My 42 year old male partner does not read books. I’ve previously bought him books that I thought he’d be interested in or that he has actually asked for, but he gets halfway through and doesn’t finish them. It’s really frustrating! I am a bookworm but he prefers to scroll on his phone or read articles on forums. How can I encourage him to read a book with success? Any tips would be much appreciated! Thanks!
by Tulipflmaingo
15 Comments
Is it his happiness you seek, or your own?
Accept that which you cannot change.
I bought my fiancee and brother Kindle for this reason and an audible subscription
Is he interested in Ebooks? He can either buy a Reader or read them on his phone.
If not i wouldn’t buy him more books anymore.
If he feels like he will finish a book, he can buy it himself.
I can think of three possible ways…
1. Meet him where he lives. Either ebooks or a Kindle reader might suit him more than dead tree product if he is just more used to the scrolling.
2. Audiobooks might be the way to go. I am a huge reader but I have to say my local library’s Libby app has me devouring books on my commute or while doing chores. It is hugely comforting to have someone read you a story.
3. If he prefers short-form content, you might see some success from the HUGE “Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader” series. It’s a line of short fiction, jokes, etc that can usually be enjoyed in a “single trip” and might suit his social media-skewed attention span better.
That said, he is reading – just not the way you do.
is he really interested, because otherwise it will probably not work? find out what where the reasons he stopped reading the books, even those he asked for. maybe he does not know what he would be interested in, or maybe try something lighter, like comic books, visual novels? non-fiction is also sometimes preferred by declared non-readers because they get information on a topic they are interested in, be it sports or science or anything else. there are books about everything out there…might feel like reading a longer article of sorts…
Why are you trying to force books on him when he clearly has no interest in reading?
Let the man live. Why does he HAVE to read?
How would you react if others tried to get you to do something you do not want to do?
Stop forcing it. He isn’t a book reader so dont try and make him into one. Believe it or not, your partner is a complete human being with his own wants, needs, hobbies and intrests. he isn’t just a clone of you. it’s perfecly healthy and normal to have your own intrests and hobbies which you dont share with a partner.
A lot of people are saying you should leave the man alone. Not everyone likes to read. I agree. But there is also nothing wrong with sharing your interests. What are his interests? What have you tried? And is he open to further suggestions from you?
I love to read but my husband is not a reader. Sounds similar to yours in preferring short form on his phone.
I’ve never bought him books because they simply aren’t his thing. He enjoys audiobooks, so maybe that could be a solution if it’s more that you want to share stories with him than the act of reading.
My husband also loves hearing about what I’m reading and I’ll tell him about the plot and characters or read him passages sometimes.
Is it that you want to share the thing you love with him? Because there are other ways to do that than having him read himself. And if you’re looking to spend time with readers, I love the book club I’m a member of and have made friends who share my passion for reading there.
May I ask why this matters? Is he discouraging you from reading books? Is it making spending time together difficult?
I ask because my partner is the same. My major expense is books over clothes and he prefers tech and articles or videos. We share other loves – movies and shows – and I actually managed to use my nerdiness to get him interested in the MCU, StarWars, StarTrek etc. I found out he loves the LOTR movies and now I get to share interesting facts from the comics and books connected to all of the above to add new perspective to the things he loves.
Like, he plays Assassin’s Creed. Great. I read the books about the franchise 😋 We can discuss the lore.
If you really really want to get him books – try coffee table books about things he likes? Like if he’s a war and history guy – get him a reference book with lots of photos and less text about ammunition and machinery? Or if he’s a Movie buff, get him a coffee table book about his favourite movie? They do exist.
Give him a book of articles. For example, Bill Bryson wrote a book called I’m A Stranger Here Myself. It’s a book of 100+ columns he wrote to his English followers after leaving England to the US, having left the US 20 years prior. It’s funny and a wonderful look at Americans and our often strange culture. There are similar books involving politics, sports or a variety of topics.
Or, there’s always Calvin and Hobbs. Who doesn’t like a book full of cartoons?
If someone doesn’t like reading books, why on earth would you continue buying them books?
I love reading, my partner hates reading. I NEVER buy him books. Why force your interests on someone else?
Do you want your partner to read so that you can share your hobby with them? If so, could you read a book that’s also a movie and then watch the movie together. You can talk about it, and even discuss any differences between the book and movie with him. This is what my partner and I (both avid readers but in different genres) often do. They love fantasy and I’m not that keen but I’ll watch the movie. And vice versa with mysteries that I love.
If it’s just because you think everyone should read books, then I hope you’ll take a moment to think about how he is reading- just not in your preferred format. And that is a valid type of media consumption too.
My tip is to give it a rest. He doesn’t like reading, so what. Whether or not you like reading is morally neutral.
How would you like it if he was trying to force you to stop reading books and only read articles on your phone? I assume it would be super annoying and you would just wish you were reading a book. Same goes for him.