November 2024
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    Hi! Does anyone have any recs for books that feature mothers who are manipulative? I have a “good” relationship with my mother because I constantly give in.

    In reality, our relationship is just like a boss and the secretary. I do whatever she says because I believe that it’s the only way to be filial. I’m 19 and she checks my phone when she wants to, she controls what I eat, what I wear and the friends I make.

    I am basically her “helper” I just do whatever she says without complaining because if I do complain or get upset. She will have this very pitiful look and say things like “Just doing this simple task for me is it so difficult? I’m tired.” (She’s a housewife and stays home, I start school at 7am and end at 4pm each day). I find her actions quite manipulative.

    But anyways, i hope I can receive some book recs with “manipulative mothers”. It can be memoirs, self-help, fiction, non fiction, anything at all.

    by Esmerayy8

    6 Comments

    1. I’m Glad My Mother Died sounds like a good fit.

      I’m not sure if a book will help though.

    2. Your mother sounds narcissistic, as if your life is really all about her and how you make her look and how you make her feel. You aren’t a person, you are an accessory.

      There is a sub here on Reddit called raised by a narcissists

      I just finished crying in H Mart but I don’t think that it will help you.

      I think you’re going to need some parenting books on toxic parents. There is a book that I like to called adult children of emotionally immature parents and it talks about your parents’ relationship with you, I am wondering if your mother is a rejecting mother, it sounds like you really have no relationship with her as a mother, and that she has basically rejected you.

      There are other books for controlling parents, but usually when I see a controlling parent it is them doing what is convenient for themselves.

    3. Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride

      Will the Drama Ever End? Untangling and Healing from the Harmful Effects of Parental Narcissism by Karyl McBride

      Running on Empty; Running on Empty No More by Dr. Jonice Webb

      Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff

      Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Christopher Germer

      Fiction

      Anywhere But Here by Mona Simpson

      Amy and Isabelle by Elizabeth Strout

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